Miss Delite 2

WTF is it?

2010-05-12T07:39:00.003-04:00

Fennec fox

MD2 Gallery

2010-05-12T06:56:00.007-04:00

Mischa Barton

Paris Hilton

Lindsay Lohan

Naomi Campbell

Justin Bieber meets Jersey Shore

Deranged Dowager

2010-05-09T22:43:00.011-04:00

LISA MARIA FALCONE: MAJOR FASHION MOMENTS

THE ATTENTION-GRABBING OUTFITS OF LISA FALCONE
COMMENT
Obviously you have never been employed by that egotistical, self serving, completely psychotic bitch Fifi. Having worked for the Falcones, really more like being enslaved by them (yes, I was not allowed to leave their estate for 10 days), I have never witnessed such utter cruelty and disrespect. One can certainly take the girl out of the ghetto, but one certainly can not take the ghetto out of the girl...although Lisa may be living in another zip code from the one she was raised in NYC, no amount of financial wealth her husband may accumulate in his lifetime could ever buy his wife an ounce of class. I look forward to seeing their spoiled rotten twin girls plastered all over the tabloids when they reach of age. It is a shame they had to begin therapy at the age of 3. I should have known what I was getting into when her psychiatrist interviewed me as she sat in a corner of her shrink's office without saying a word. That was a first and a last, and believe it or not, I have worked for families much higher in social standing, and surprisingly wealth. I have been blessed that none of them were as downright awful as Lisa Falcone. I was even told by a family member that I was the 25th plus nanny they had that year. On a final note, when you spend $200K on a purse, the least one can do is donate $10M. After I thankfully left their employ, I researched their donations. I found less than $75k TOTAL. For a man who contributed to the current economic crisis in addition to the millions of families losing their homes across America due to his 'bets' (hedges in the housing/mortgage industry), it is about time these hypocritical, shallow, substanceless creatures give something...even if it is to join the 'big, swinging dick' club.

LISA FALCONE CAN BUY A WHOLE NEW SET OF SPACE OUTFITS NOW

Facebook Famewhore

2010-05-04T06:33:00.013-04:00

Justin Ross Lee

Before They Were Socialites - Part 7
THIS cute child, who can be no more than two years old, is wearing a Playboy shirt. And has shaving cream all over his face. Looks like someone was destined to be a womanizer from day one... [...]

COMMENTS
GOG standards have gone so far down the toilet. Don't you have to actually be a socialite to be featured in this section? Since when does media-whoring equal socialite? I do not see him on any charity boards or at any benefits. He has been banned from every respectable nightclub in NYC. Things have gotten so bad that if you're even photographed with him, you risk not getting into certain clubs. Someone needs to get it together at GOG.

I BELIEVE it's his parents who have all the money and I hear thats he's in debt over 6 figures living in his envelope size apartment in Murray Hill. He is a spoiled brat that still gets an allowance from his parents because we know that he can't afford his lifestyle from his column on club planet. With all the money that he spends on popping bottles and traveling first class everywhere you would think that he could actually live in a nicer apartment.

Clothes Make the Couple
OK, so we don't think that they're a couple in that sense. But they certainly are a couple of characters in those get-ups. They just have to know each other, because how else would they have perfectly coordinated the pocket squares and number of buttons to leave undone so the same amount of chest hair would be showing? [...]

COMMENTS
LOL. Princess you are in idiot. Justin hangs out with D list promoters thats how he gets into clubs. He does not buy bottles. The reality is that he lives in this little Murray Hills studio and might bang a lot of girls, but come on, did you see the quality of chicks he hangs out with?? I would not even take a second look at them. Intelligent and beautiful women would never talk to him. I can be a witness to that.

JUSTIN returned the suit he's wearing in this photo to Saks- threw a big fuss with the department manager, and finally they exchanged it for store credit. He usually buys/wears/returns his clothing and fancy shoes after using them a few times.

COMMENT
SO MUCH misinformation and half-truths floating around about JRL. But this is what he lives for. This is exactly what he thrives on. This is what is making him more and more "famous" (a term I use very loosely here).

The fact is, JRL is just as average and plain as the next guy. A year and a half ago, he was a complete nobody, living off his fathers monthly allowance in Hartford, CT, in a $1,000/mo apartment (which he termed "Penthouse" because it was on the top floor). While a nice apartment, it was hardly a "Penthouse". He had a small clique of A-List friends that he always rolled with and used his wit and friendship with club owners and promoters to get into clubs for free. He would schmooze at his friends tables, then be out of site at the end of the night, when people were pitching in for the bill. Even today, you may see him in pictures chugging a bottle of champagne or Grey Goose, but you can be guaranteed he is drinkin' off someone elses table from someone else's booze.

The plain fact is, Justin is not as wealthy as people think. His parents are, but he is not a spoiled rich kid. HIs father gives him a strict monthly allowance and the rest he's on his own for. That's why he can never afford his own table. That's why he has to schmooze the D-list promoters or go "chill" and get the number of the DJ, so he can call them the day of, to get put on their guestlist. Instead he spends his extra money on booze to stock his apartment, for when he invites people over afterhours, with the intention of getting to know more people.

So how does he afford all these lavish vacations? Well, JRL has accumulated approx $70K in credit card debt, which continually is on the rise as his allowance is eaten up. He has 100's of thousands of frequent flyer points and is good about finagaling first class seats at discounted rates, and the rest of his money is spent on average suites at big name hotels.

If you had to sum up JRL in one word, it would be "USER". He uses EVERYBODY to get the things he wants and he is actually quite good at it. In fact, he and I have taught each other quite a few tips and tricks of living lavishly on next to nothing, through the contacts we've made, the places we've been to, and how "celebrity" (and creating even a small one for yourself) has a way of self-perpetuating and becoming bigger, as his FaceBook presence has proven. This was an idea/concept we came up with a year and a half ago, and he has put it to good use. And the public (rather his social network of 5,000 acquaintances, combined with morning talks over the work cooler, has built up in him what was nothing into an ever bigger NOTHING (but with more fun and fervour attached to him).

What Justin won't tell you (or let you see behind the pictures), is a small, $575/mo studio apartment everyone thinks is a NYC penthouse. Think he drives a Bentley and exotic sports cars? Guess again. He has a beat up '05 Audi S4 with over 100K miles on it. Beautiful expensive watches (Cartier, IWC, Panerai)? All made in China. I will say that he has a nice clothing collection (especially a couple dozen beautiful cashmere sweaters, courtesy of mom), but the rest of his wardrobe comes out of Dad's allowance, is charged to an overheated credit card, or is just bought for the night and returned a day later to the department store.

Now, does Justin date and sleep with alot of beautiful women? The answer is yes and no. At first glance, you'll see him with a bevy of women at his table (usually the girl's table) or around his arm, but take the time to look closely. When you do, you'll notice that girls aren't REALLY, quite that extraordinary, and the ones that are, are ONLY in it because they think JRL has tons of money (as shown above, is quite a deceptive image he pulls off nicely). When the cash flow, which never really started flowing to begin with, decreases to next to nothing, the beautiful girls are done and gone. The typical length of an average JRL dating/relationship is about a week (if that). And girls, I hate to admit it, but the rumors are true. For a Jewish guy, he DOES have a large "member" (in his pants). About 9-10". Unfortunately, its attached to JRL, who (as someone in Hartford once put it), "has the body of a 14yo). Yes, he is small, scrawny, and puny, but the testimony of his large "friend" keeps them coming for more.

And oh yeah, by the way. The only thing more impressive than the number of women JRL has slept with, is the number of videos Justin has on his home computer of him having sex with all these girls. For every 100 women he sleeps with, at least 80 get filmed, and of those 80, only 10 know that its happening! No he doesnt have a camera hidden in the wall or in his alarmclock. That'd be too technical. The secret? First of all, 100% of the girls he brings home are from clubs, and have thus been drinking like fish all night. So inhibitions are lowered already. Combine that with Justins smooth and suave maneuver of dropping half a Xanax into their drink (when the inevitable afterparty resumes at his apt) and now you have a girl that will do whatever you want, and not remember a thing the next morning. So while some girls are just kinky and will play and be allow to be filmed acting retarded, the great majority appear dopey and drousy on film.

And let's set the record "straight" once and for all. Justin is not gay. Nor is Justin 100% straight. Is he Bi? The jury is still out on that one. But, lest be sure, Justin has been with his fiar share of men in his life. Regardless of how vehemently he denies it, the great majority (at least in Hartford will tell you its true), and more exactly, there is pictorial PROOF of his little escapades and one night, drunken, coked-to-the-hilt, no holds barred, little romps with other of Justins "sraight" friends. Boys will be boys I guess, and yes, I HAVE seen the pictures (only a VERY SELECT FEW have had that priviledge) and they are crystal clear in quality with no mistakes and no possible way of photoshopping, whatsoever!

Lastly, I will leave you with a warning about Justin Lee. This is aimed more at his "friends" and less to his mere acquaintances and FB pals. When it comes to being friends with JRL, nothing is ever what it seems. By nature and his actions, JRL has a "way" of drawing you in. You WANT to be his friend. You WANT to hang out with him. You WANT to be part of the whole experience (or circus act) that he portrays his life to be. But no matter how close you think you are to JRL, no matter how much you think you might be "best friends" with him or that you can trust him with anything in life....this is when you have to stop...take a step back....and do a reality check! Justing uses everyone. Justin uses his parents. He uses his "connections". He uses his acquaintances, friends, close friends, and best friends. Don't ever, for once, think you're the exception to the rule. You're not. Do a reality check! How many times have YOU paid for dinner or a night out clubbing? How many has JRL? How much time do YOU spend calling him or wanting to hang out with him and how much is reciprocated? Then ask yourself the Golden Question. Have you EVER been invited to his parents house in the Hamptons, to hang out, relax, meet his family, anything? Chances are, you haven't. Even if you've considered yourself to be his closest confidant and friend, there is a 95% chance you have NEVER been invtited, the topic has never come up, there's always been an excuse why you couldn't or it had to be postponed. I've known a few of Justin's CLOSEST friends (and I'm talking CLOSE, where they would do EVERYTHING together and Justin would even drop actual money on these people) and even THEY were never invited. In the history of knowing Justin, I have only known ONE person (his true Best Friend DAN) who has ever gotten that priviledge and to this day, I've never understood why. He does not introduce his friends to his parents, nor his sister. One speculation is that he is afraid of his parents learning about his lifestyle (as to this day, it is true that they have no clue about the exhorbant amount of travelling he does, his incredibly high credit card debt, the cocaine and other drug abuses, or his loose dating/sexual life). The speculations will continue I guess.

Now you know a little more about the real JRL, the side that is not portrayed in FaceBook abd rarely talked about. Did I share this in an attempt to stop his rise to fame? Hardly. I'm sure it will only add more fuel to his fire. But nothing lasts forever. Just as everything in Justin's life (friends, money, celebrity, status, fun, excess, abuse, and splendor) has an expiration date, as proven over and over in his life, so too will his FaceBook persona nongrata, and it won't be soon until JRL is yet another joe shmoe who had his 15 minutes of fame. Until then, we'll read his repetative picture captions, watch his satirical videos, beleive in his celebrity-ness and wish we were there with him, and blog our love and/or hatred of him, because hey...what else is there to do?

Enjoy the JRL phenomenon while it lasts,

-A Scorned Ex-GF (or perhaps not).

COMMENT
THIS guy is a disgrace. He was nominated to be a bachelor in an auction my charity hosted to benefit The Opportunity Network. (Our instincts told us not to work with this guy but he offered to help raise money and promote the event so we agreed) At the event, he promised to donate $1600 if he could be on stage. Needless to say, after numerous repeated attempts to collect his donation, he never followed up on his promise. It's pretty shameless and sad when you'll go so far as to defraud a charity to self promote. BTW, this dude is 5'2' - for those of you that even think this guy is remotely attractive check out this picture: (above)

Introducing Justin Ross Lee: The Latest GofG Hamptons Feature
LITTLE did we know when we caught sight of these two lookers at Pink Elephant a couple weekends ago and decided to profile them for "Clothes Makes The Couple" what kind of feedback it would create. Apparently that's typical for Justin Ross Lee, the controversial party boy who is known for more than just his outlandish outfits. [...]

COMMENT
JUSTIN Lee is the cheapest bastard I have ever met. I met him at the Entourage Premier party and he was boasting about how he was in the market for a rental in the vicinity of $50,000 a month. Little did I know, he was just trying to impress his date, who I put away a week later.

A few days later I showed him some of the finest apartments in NYC. He told me he decided to cut his budget a bit so we looked at things in the $25,000 range. We then went down to $15,000, $10,000, $5,000 and suddenly we were looking at things around $500 a month.

I found him a converted janitor's closet in Murray Hill which I most commonly refer to as "Curry Hill." The only time I ever go there is to eat Indian Food. I won't even take a listing there.

The unit is a sprawling 95sf.. He paid $485/month for it, with no utilities. I was also told that he put in bunk beds to share with his companion Drew DeRisi.

Don't fall for his bullshit like I did!

Justin Ross Lee's Exclusive Interview...with Himself
YOU probably remember the Introduction to Justin Ross Lee we did a couple of weeks ago right here. How could you forget? Between his "Jew-jetting", bottle-popping, and love of over the top antics it's hard to push out of your mind… or the comments off our site. So we checked in with JRL to see what he was up to the other day via a brief message on Facebook (his choice medium). [...]

COMMENT
HORACE Wilson and Michael Amante are fake names Justin came up with. Not only did he interview himself, he also posts comments about himself on Guest of a Guest. It's kind of brilliant. The fact that a shnook wannabe Robin Leach from Great Neck with a slew of personality disorders can become a cult favorite celebrity is a testament to the mob mentality that Justin has learned to play like a good guitar riff. He's clearly on a mission from god, and nobody really knows what exactly he's going after, which makes the story that much more enticing. What he needs is a David Axelrod to assist in the strategic marketing and PR of the Justin Ross Lee™ brand, so that like Madonna in 1991, he will start to appear on the nightly news sometime around the end of this year/2010. God bless America.

COMMENT
I DON'T know what’s tackier, all the ridiculous stuff you folks THINK you know about JRL, or JRL himself. Sorry to disappoint you all (lovers and haters alike), but he does NOT have any of the following: a jet, a yacht, a helicopter, $30K suits, a Fiji-filled pool, a palatial estate, least of all beachfront (try studio in Murray Hill), his own Black AMEX, a stewardess for a mom, a job, a Bentley, hell…a car other than his beat up ‘05 Audi S4, a 6-figure wardrobe, respect, class, or a future.

What he DOES have, is a cell phone. (914) 588-4129

BTW, he hates calls from strangers…Especially thousands of them!
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With Regretsy

2010-05-01T09:09:00.010-04:00

REGRETSY
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Jack the Stripper

2010-05-01T08:33:00.004-04:00

LAST CALL FOR KEIFER
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Racial Profiling

2010-04-29T23:23:00.001-04:00

Oh, Hank

2010-04-28T22:20:00.014-04:00

QUOTES
You can't snort a line of coke off a woman’s ass and not wonder about her hopes and dreams, it's not gentlemanly.

I disgust myself but I'm not unhappy about that.

Wine is fine but whisky's quicker.

Your assistant makes me want to touch myself in a bad place.

I have found that the back tat is the watermark of the promiscuous.

Well, you should've called. I wouldn't have answered, but you could've left a message, which I would've quickly erased.

Rehab is for quitters.

I probably won't go down in history, but I will go down on your sister. While I'm down there it might be nice to see a hint of pubis. I'm not talking about a huge 70's Playboy bush or anything, just something that reminds me I'm performing cunnalingus on an adult.

No man should ever have to bear witness to his O face.

It's not your fault. I'm like fly paper for the emotionally disturbed.

Satisfaction is the death of desire.

How can you be so fucking beautiful and so fucking wrong?

I don’t know what’s going on with us, and I can’t tell you why you should waste a leap of faith on the likes of me. But, damn, you smell good… like home.

I love you Karen...and I want to spend the rest of my life annoying the shit out of you.

Could I get a jumbo order of what the fuck were you thinking?

You kicked my dick out of the house. You made my dick homeless. And out of doors is a place where penises don't generally fare well. So my homeless dick now must seek shelter where and whence it can.

I handled the fuck out of that shit.

There's no law against stealing from a colossal douchebag.

Women know within the first few seconds of meeting a guy whether they want to marry, fuck or kill him.

I went there to kick his ass, and I stayed to soak up his wisdom.

Good Morning LA. In the land of the lotus eaters time plays tricks on you. One day you are dreaming, the next your dream has become your reality. It was the best of times, if only someone had told me. Mistakes were made, hearts were broken, harsh lessons learned.

I'm telling you that no amount of top shelf pussy can compete with the love of a good woman.

You know most people they go their whole lives and they never really find someone they love...they say they do because everybody is a star of their own little romantic company..but they are full of shit...you and me we had women who loved us for who we were....really loved us for who we were...we fucked it up. For what, some stupid piece of ass we forgot 10 minutes later?

[People] seem to be getting dumber and dumber. I mean we have all this amazing technology and yet computers have turned into basically four figure wank machines. The Internet was supposed to set us free, democratize us, but all it’s really given us is Howard Dean’s aborted candidacy and 24-hour a day access to kiddie porn, you know. And people don’t write anymore, they blog; instead of talking, they text; no punctuation, no grammar. LOL this and LMFAO that. You know it just seems to me that it’s just a bunch of stupid people psuedo-communicating with a bunch of other stupid people in a proto-language that resembles more what cavemen used to speak than the king’s English.

[TVLoop.com]

Paris Trash

2010-04-28T02:24:00.012-04:00

THIS IS WHAT YOU FIND INSIDE PARIS HILTON'S HOUSE

PARIS HILTON: WHAT I'VE LEARNED

PARIS HILTON'S $325,000 DOG MANSION

Supernerds

2010-04-25T08:04:00.002-04:00

THE 10 NERDIEST SUPERHEROES

Coming Soon

2010-04-24T20:01:00.009-04:00

WHAT MEN THINK WHEN THEY WATCH A "SEX AND THE CITY 2" TRAILER
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Join the Club

2010-03-23T07:41:00.001-04:00

Cover Shock

2010-03-20T06:39:00.011-04:00

1966

1966

1968

1972

1980

1982

1990

1998

1999

ESQUIRE

1967

1969

1969

1969

1970

1970

1970

1970

1971

2008

NEW YORK

60s-70s ROLLING STONE

1972

1973

1975

1976

1978

1980

NATIONAL LAMPOON

1966

09.14.01

+ASME'S TOP 40 MAGAZINE COVERS
+15 BEST MAGAZINE COVERS SINCE 1960
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Gaga Gallery

2010-03-12T06:40:00.005-05:00

LADY GAGA: 100 FOTO STUPENDE
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GYWO

2010-02-28T08:36:00.000-05:00

Hanging Lights

2010-02-23T22:18:00.002-05:00

Mint Light #5 You Only Live Once Lamp

Tribal Renters

2010-02-23T17:54:00.002-05:00

A Peek Into Netflix Queues

Split Decisions

2010-02-21T06:28:00.008-05:00

Author Ian Halperin: Brad and Angelina Have 'Definitely Split'

Brad and Angie Sign £205m Split Deal and Will Share Joint Custody of Six Children

The Bran(d)gelina Effect

Rags to Gags

2009-12-15T05:12:00.011-05:00

A Year in the Life and Wardrobe of Lady Gaga
Latex, lace and a general distaste for pants: Ladies and gentlemen, 2009 was an excellent year for Lady Gaga. It's safe to say she wore hundreds of ensembles this year; here are the highlights.

Cover Girl Hurl

2009-12-15T04:59:00.003-05:00

The 30 Worst Womens' Magazine Covers of the 2000s
The things Photoshop and/or terrible taste can do. (Mostly terrible taste.)

Red Carpet Roadkill

2009-12-15T03:44:00.013-05:00

Pam "Covered nips = legit outfits" Anderson

Paris "Restraint is for pussies" Hilton

Madonna, aka "Good Reception"

Drew "I take myself seriously so you don't have to" Barrymore

Rihanna, aka "Trainwreck Tranny"

Adrien "I don't need a fucking stylist" Brody

Katy "One's lodged up my butt!" Perry

Lady "OMG WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU??" Gaga

Worst Fashions of 2009

Buh Bye Tiger

2009-12-12T03:51:00.010-05:00

Text of Statement by Tiger Woods
THIS is a transcript of the statement released Friday night by golfer Tiger Woods on his Web site. It ran with the headline “Tiger Woods taking hiatus from golf.” [...]

After much soul searching, I have decided to take an indefinite break from professional golf. I need to focus my attention on being a better husband, father, and person.

COMMENT TOTAL [Yahoo.com]: 1,344

Woods Isn't Leaving for Good, or Even for Long
UNTIL two weeks ago, until that moment his SUV went pin-balling down the street out of control, it seemed nothing could stop Tiger Woods.

Even now, after two weeks of a media frenzy over his late-night accident and infidelity, the last thing he is going to do is throw in the towel himself.

Woods isn’t leaving golf for good, or even for very long—at least that’s the guess here. In a statement on his Web site Friday evening, he said, “After much soul searching, I have decided to take an indefinite break from professional golf. I need to focus my attention on being a better husband, father, and person.”

As anyone who’s tried to become better at any one of those things can attest — let alone all of them—it’s a never-ending task. [...]

IN the days right after the Nov. 27 crash, it seemed premature at best—and silly at worst—to speculate on whether the clamor that forced Woods into exile would endanger the goal he set for himself as a kid: overtaking Jack Nicklaus and his 18 career major victories at the top of the game. The story about Woods taping a list of Nicklaus’ accomplishments and his age at the time to his bedroom wall is well known. Of all the obstacles we thought might derail that pursuit—even as he beat Nicklaus to every mark—a lack of discipline wouldn’t have made the top 10.

Yet one thing we knew is that the only way to eclipse that total was for Woods to be as good as Nicklaus was for as long as Nicklaus was. Tiger is about to find out how daunting that can be. [...]

On Tiger: We Wanted it One Way, and it Was the Other Way
[EXCERPT]
WE wanted Tiger to be the best. We needed him to be the best. We needed someone we could all look up to, someone who represented all that we could possibly achieve. And as it turns out, he wasn't the best. He wasn't even better than most of us. And so we're profoundly disappointed -- in Tiger, yes, but more in ourselves for believing in what he and his handlers were selling.

Oh, it was a hell of a sales pitch. It was secular religion. Tiger transcended sport, transcended race, transcended everything that traditionally divides America. He's not just a guy who hits a little white ball with a stick; he represents excellence, domination, triumph on every level. That's something that everyone can relate to, and that's why this scandal hit so hard and struck so deep; there's no other figure in American culture who had the same kind of near-universal acclaim and cross-cultural appeal. [...]

THE big question, then: is it fair that Tiger Woods had to shoulder this burden for all of us? Of course not. No way. No one could possibly be expected to handle that load, not even Tiger. Nobody could hold out against the temptations and the pressures of fame forever, and in retrospect, it was ridiculous for us to even think that he could. [...]

COMMENTS
'He was just another dude in traffic.'
That's exactly right, Jay. We don't have to necessarily get over the infidelity, we have to get over that he is 'just another dude in traffic'. That was the real shock to a lot of people, I believe.

I know plenty of people who appreciated his ability but never connected or worshiped the guy. I also know plenty of people who prefer those who take direct responsibility for their actions. Especially after they benefited financially marketing themselves at the expense of others. You cant have it both ways, and theres plenty of people who could care less if they ever see this fraud pick up another golf club.

"I think that we dig because we want to find the bottom of this mess. We invested so much of ourselves in the idea of Tiger -- spiritually, financially, emotionally, athletically"
No, YOU dig because you're looking for answers that aren't there. YOU invested so much of yourself in the idea of Tiger. Get over it already. He doesn't you owe or the public anything. You're just another media schlub trying to milk this to the last drop.

I admit the fact that Tiger is one of the baddest f'ers to ever swing a golf club, but come on...the dude is a SPORTS FIGURE. He isn't playing golf to be anybodys set of standards for morality. The media and sponsors put that message in the sheeps heads, only the folks with a grip can understand the guy is HUMAN. He screwed himself...It ain't a bit of anybodys buisness but him and his wife that is about to take ALL of his stuff. Put the microscope away....It is what it is.

Jersey Shore Live

2009-12-11T04:40:00.014-05:00

THE FRISKY LIVEBLOG
COMMENTS
How are Sammy and Ronnie in love already? It's been two days. Also, aren't they supposed to be whoring around? isn't that the point?

I would like to introduce Snook to feminism. Is this a lofty goal?

Oh Pauly. Pauly would break up with JWoww for making out with him.

Snooki said that she and her friend Mike "half hooked up." What does that mean? Blowies? Just making out? Touching peen? What?
This show is offensive to Oompah-Loompah Americans.

Angelina is too classy for this shizz. She has acrylic nails to get done.

Snooki is too mature in this episode. She's being "Nicole" and I don't like it.

John, yes, this show is just like "The Real World" only the cast of that show usually waits till episode 3 to defile the hot tub with semen.
I can't wait until people start whacking each other. DISRESPECT!

Let's play Shun, Shag or Marry! I would Shun Angelina, Shag Pauly (cause of the pierced peen), and Marry Snooki cause we are soul mates.

Proof that God watches "Jersey Shore" -- Angelina is leaving. LATER BITCH.
The meathead is named Ronnie, John. Or Date Rape Face.

I would party with these cartoons.

Snooki needs a booster seat, I just say.
This show is all about the little details: birth control pills, lip licks, abs only a gay man would love.

If MTV is not working on Snooki's own show as we speak, I will eat my trucker hat.

Snark aside, I think I've actually been friends with "Jersey Shore" types. Always generous with their booze, gabagool, boobs.
Should all that gel be so close to an open flame?

Tuesday night is Ass Grind A Stranger Night at Karma, kids!

Ironically, I find all of these trainwrecks more authentic and believable than most of the plasti-bot fame sluts on MTV.

JWOWW - official site
About Me
Jenni always had a thing for nightclubs, but being the impatient & easily annoyed type never wanted to wait on the lines. It was the long lines, cold winters, and fake club promoters who think they own NY that got Jenni to realize that she wasn't going to be like everyone else who had to wait or pay to get into clubs in the tri state area. After conquering the club scene on long island and much of Manhattans outlaying boroughs she realized she wanted to reach out to the rest of the country by telling her story through MTV's newest reality show "Jersey Shore".

Clothing Line
Jenni has created the ultimate in fashionable clothing. She will be reinventing the term "Sexy Sophisticated." Not only will her line be "Edgy" and "Sexy", but it will make people of all ages and body type feel more confident in "the scene." This exclusive line will be limited and custom made to your body type.

…Remember you don't want to be that person at the club that see's someone else wearing the same thing…

HCG Diet
Many people want to know if they can be comfortable on a calorie restriction diet or 500 calories per day. Yes, one of the amazing things of HCG is that a person can feel comfortable eating only 500 calories per day while taking HCG drops. While on the HCG diet, appetite is suppressed and you will feel as if they are over eating on 500 calories a day. Trying this very low calorie diet without the use of HCG would lead to trouble within 2-3 days. Side effects of starving yourself include insomnia, lethargy, headaches, loss of mental clarity, severe fatigue, and many, many more! While on the HCG diet you will sleep sounder and feel better than you did before!

My Beauty
Remember if you call and say my name "Jenni Farley" aka "Jenni Woww" as a reference you will receive a free consultation ($150.00 Value), and a $100.00 discount on any first treatment from Dr. Rokhsar a world renowned cosmetic and dermatologic surgeon.

Dr. Rokhsar gave me the confidence I needed to get me where I am today, and I firmly believe that if it weren’t for him I wouldn’t have tried pursuing many of the things that have led me to success! Without Dr. Rokhsar I wouldn’t have been able to stay confident with MTV cameras in my face 24/7 for over 6 weeks. Between his scar and cellulite removal, and stretch mark lasering I was able to have the self esteem and confidence needed to successfully make the casting for MTV’s “Jersey Shore” and not feel self conscious with my naturally curvaceous body.

"I am Tiger Woods"

2009-12-10T00:34:00.016-05:00

There's Been a Distinct Lack of Tiger Woods Ads on TV Lately
TIRED of the Tiger Woods story? Many are; it's dominating the news, the tabloids and certain allegedly golf-oriented websites. However, take heart -- there's a place where you won't find any Tiger Woods ... and it's not where you'd expect. [...]

YOUTUBE COMMENTS
Go tiger GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! and again fuck all them haterzz for hating!!

Mentally tough can't even keep his phone away from his wife!!!

Amazing how Earl Woods other children were virtually ignored by their daddy dearest.

haha more like a hole in 12

The day will come when this story is old news. It will come soon.
Then the folks who look at him as a celebrity and a god will go away and look for something else or someone else to rag on. They are the ones who are making the most noise. The TMZers, the Oprah lovers, etc......
The golf fans will stay and continue to cheer him on...

Just do it. Guess Tiger took that advice to the nth degree. Great golfer, but lousy human being. In the end, he's a big loser. Wonder what Earl Woods would think of his son's performance in the game of life and morality? He should be ashamed. All those times he dropped his clubs and made Tiger "mentally tough"? Guess he should have taken that time to talk to his son about right and wrong.

Leave Tiger alone. He's not a robot.

yeah right - you wear Nike not for the vicarious status but because its cheap and good value right? LOL Get real you tosser!

NIKE...Just Do Her

TIGER YOU ARE STILL A HERO TO ME

Tiger shouldn't be your hero. Be your own hero. Tiger is a man, flawed and all, who just happens to be blessed with an insanely crazy freakin' golf gift. Breathe easy little fella, and forgive Tiger for making that humongous fuckin' mistake.

Tiger you fucking idiot.
Elin your just as fucking stupid as Tiger if you don't leave him.
God Tiger you used to be a hero to me, not anymore you fucking sleezeball. How the fuck do you manage to cheat with those ugly skanks when you are married to one of the most beautiful women on the planet.
I'm never watching you again you fucking jerk.

I think he met some one as mentally tough as him with a driver in her hand when he got home.

*single tear* What a powerful commercial! I can't stop crying, sports are so important!
But seriously.... let's stop worshipping dumbass jocks. Fuck Tiger Woods, ESPN, and the entire sports establishment for telling us who our heroes should be.

Never buy Nike and never drink Gatordae again!
Everyone email these companies to dump this losers ass or never again buy their products!

Yikes! The video that looks really bad now with what he did is the "I am Tiger Woods commercial." All those young kids saying I am Tiger Woods.

Tiger Woods, while we're losing our asses this Bum gets a trillion dollars for playing a game invented by and for dead people. This is why America is screwed up. Another over paid over praised loser athlete. What's a matter Tiger, your wifes boobs weren't big enough? Sports, the opiate of the American People.

Tiger Woods’ Status With Consumers Falls After Affair Scandal, Gauge Shows
[Industry-News.org]
By Michael Buteau Dec. 8 (Bloomberg) — TIGER WOODS' standing with the public is in freefall following reported extramarital affairs, according to a consumer research company. The 33-year-old golfer’s ranking on a list of celebrity endorsers plunged to 24th from 6th, based on the Davie Brown Index, which marketers and advertising agencies use to gauge the ability of personalities to influence consumer behavior. The No. 1 ranked golfer’s $110 million in annual income from endorsements and tournaments hinges on his standing with consumers. Woods ranks as the world’s fourth-highest paid celebrity by Forbes magazine in the 12 months through June 30. In October, he became the first athlete to top $1 billion in career earnings, Forbes said. The Davie Brown Index tracks 2,800 celebrities. It was created by the Los Angeles-based marketing company Davie Brown Entertainment to provide a way to measure the use of celebrities in marketing campaigns. END

Gillette to Limit Woods' Role in its Marketing
One of Tiger Woods’ major sponsors won’t feature the world’s most valuable athlete in its marketing while he takes time off to repair his personal life.

Gillette’s announcement on Saturday marks the first major sponsor of the superstar athlete and corporate pitchman to distance itself from Woods.

“As Tiger takes a break from the public eye, we will support his desire for privacy by limiting his role in our marketing programs,” said Gillette, a division of Procter & Gamble. [...]

YAHOO! COMMENT
"A fool and his money are soon parted."

Nike Chairman Calls Tiger Woods' Extramarital Affairs "a Minor Blip"
Nike chairman and co-founder Phil Knight says Tiger Woods' extramarital affairs won't hurt his career in the long run.

In an interview with Tripp Mickle of the Sports Business Journal, Knight admits that companies run a risk in building brands around athletes like Woods, 33, who admitted for the first time Dec. 11 to cheating on his wife.

"There’s always a risk." Knight says. "One of the things we always try to do when we have a big endorsement is check out the character and the pattern of the individual. But you’re not going to get it right all the time, and if you’re going to be in the business you have to recognize that."

Woods, 33, was "obviously ... one we checked out and he came out clean, and I think he's been really great," Knight says. "When his career is over, you'll look back on these indiscretions as a minor blip, but the media is making a big deal out of it right now."

Though Nike continues to stand by the beleaguered golfer, polls show that Woods' public approval rating continues to slip. [...]

US MAGAZINE COMMENTS
I will never, ever buy another Nike product.

"Minor blip" my a**!!! Phil Knight I have just 2 sentences to describe you: You are out of your f***ing mind and you are a certifiably insane bulls*** artist!!! I cannot believe you would call a man cheating on his wife and the mother of his children just a "minor blip"! Just a question Phil Knight: Are YOU cheating on your wife as well??

As far as I'm concerned I will never buy another Nike product. My favorite golf balls were Nike brand. Now I'll throw them away. Or maybe I'll mail them to Phil Knight and tell him to put them where the sun doesn't shine!!! He is a moron!!

And here I thought integrity and honesty were the most important virtues in golf. Golfers often disqualify themselves for honest mistakes, let alone intentional cheating. I don't care how many tournaments Tiger ends up winning, he will never be the greatest golfer in history, as some would label him.

Wow, I never have been so offended by some off handed remark from some greedy CEO. And there are a lot out there. It just goes to show that CEO's in and out of Wall Street have absolutely no morals, virtues, or sense of right or wrong. If this is what he says aloud, what does he think moral behaviour really is. Ha Ha do you think he cheats on his wife too!!!

Tiger took the slogan "Just do it" way too far. He's a creep and any company that wants him to still represent them is not an honorable company. Won't be buying Nike anymore!

IT'S INDIVIDUALS WITH THIS TYPE OF MORAL FIBER THAT HAVE CAUSED OUR NATIONS FINANCIAL PROBLEMS!

Since Nike is essentially saying that it does not matter how one conducts themselves as a man, father, husband and role model - I will never purchase another Nike product ever again and I will do my best to urge others to boycott this reprehensible company as well. Happy Holidays!

DON'T BUY NIKE! Nike and Tiger Woods deserve each other. The company abuses children through child labor, pimps for overpaid, egotistical "athletes" and runs a corporate criminal network that would make any Wall Street investment firm jealous. What a despicable group of punks!

Obviously this chairman has the same moral values as Tiger. Could it be because he shares the same women?

Personally being an avid golfer and in a solid marriage, I find Phil Knight's comments offensive. Extra martial affairs with numerous women is not only irresponsible but dangerous. I guess Nike supports communicable diseases.

This guy is an idiot! Screwing someone outside your marriage or relationship is not a "minor blip". It totally destroys ANY trust you have in that person. Sounds like this guy has done the same thing.

Wow, a minor blip. So much for morals, right?

A minor blip? In this idiot's dreams...his cash cow has died, deal with it!

I will not buy another Nike product until they drop Tiger as their spokesperson. I have lost all respect for Tiger Woods and now Nike for supporting him.

See? A company spokesperson is supposed to reflect the values and corporate environment of that company. I guess we all know where Nike stands now. Sneaky, two-faced liars and cheats. I'll take my business elsewhere, thank you.

In my opinion this remark has damaged the Nike brand more than Tiger did. Women will not forget this! Good bye, Nike - cheating husbands brand!

A minor blip...seriously?? Tiger is guilty of FRAUD and all the sponsors should ask for their money back....Tiger sold himself as a spokesman with high morals and good values, so yes, his personal life IS our business!!....Why anyone thinks any dumb jock is supposedly a "role model" is beyond me....Lie and say anything you have to in order to sell sweatshop manufactured sneakers, right Nike?? BOYCOTT NIKE AND COMPLAIN ON THEIR WEBSITE....let's see what the American people REALLY think of this "minor blip" !!

A MINOR blip on his career??? What have you been drinking??? This is a major thing that Tiger Woods has done. He needs to LOSE all of his sponsors!!!! More than 10 women and most of them WHILE his wife was pregnant with HIS children. That is about as low as a man can get...DROP HIM!!! I hope you start losing money faster than Tiger can drop a putt...

Swiss Watch Maker Tag Heuer Drops Tiger Woods from U.S. Ad Campaigns
Swiss watch maker Tag Heuer says it will not use Tiger Woods' image in advertising campaigns in the United States for the foreseeable future.

Tag Heuer CEO Jean-Christophe Babin told Swiss daily Le Matin on Friday that the company was reacting to "recent events" surrounding the golfer.

"We recognize Tiger Woods as a great sportsman but we have to take account of the sensitivity of some consumers in relation to recent events," Babin was quoted saying.

Woods has taken an indefinite leave from golf to work on repairing his marriage after numerous allegations of infidelities. [...]

How Tiger Woods Destroyed $12 Billion of Stock-Market Value
[WSJ.com - 12/28/09]
HOW much can one car crash cost?

If you are Tiger Woods, as much as $12 billion. That is the amount Tiger’s corporate sponsors lost in stock value since he crashed his sport-utility vehicle the day before Thanksgiving, according to a study from two economics professors.

Much has been written and said about the impact the scandal would have on Tiger’s personal wealth. The world’s best golfer derives 90% of his income from endorsements, appearance fees, licensing agreements and a host of other off-the-course activities. It is unclear how much of that income will be affected by the crash.

More difficult to determine, though, is how the scandal would hit his corporate sponsors. So Victor Stango and Christopher Knittel, two economic professors at University of California, Davis, decided to take a stab at quantifyiung the effect–performing what is called an “event study.” To do this, the professors looked at the nine sponsors for which stock price data was available and compared stock returns for those companies for the 13 days after the accident, both to the entire stock market and a group of competitors. The market value of the sponsors fell 2.3%.

The ones hit the hardest? The three sports-related companies–Gatorade (owned by PepsiCo), Nike and Electronic Arts. Those companies experienced a 4.3% decline in stock value. Meanwhile, consulting firm Accenture “experienced no ill effects.”

Overall, the pace of the losses slowed by Dec. 11, the day Woods announced he would take a leave from golf, but as of Dec. 17, shareholders had not recovered their losses, according to the study.

Of course, caveats abound. Woods’s sponsors are mostly subsidiaries of larger parent companies and the statistical margin of error is particularly large. Still, “the overall pattern of losses at the parent companies is unlikely to stem from ordinary day-to-day variation in their stock prices,” the professors say.

So what does this all mean?

“Our findings speak to a larger question of general interest in the business and academic communities: Does celebrity sponsorship have any impact on a firm’s bottom line?” Stango said. “Our analysis makes clear that while having a celebrity of Tiger Woods’ stature as an endorser has undeniable upside, the downside risk is substantial too.” END

AT&T is Latest to End Tiger Woods Sponsorship
NEW YORK (AP)— AT&T Inc. said Thursday it would no longer sponsor Tiger Woods, joining Accenture in dropping support for the world’s top golfer, who’s taking a break from the sport to focus on his marriage after his admitted infidelity.

The phone company hasn’t used Woods’ image extensively in advertising, but its logo appeared on his golf bag. That deal had been billed as a “multiyear” agreement when it was signed early in 2009, after Buick ended its endorsement one year early because of its financial woes. [...]

Tiger the Whale

2009-12-09T03:37:00.010-05:00

Chaos in Tigerland: A Deadspin Investigation Into the Sexual Habits of Pro Athletes
[EXCERPT]
"THE fact that people don't understand that these affairs are well-orchestrated is pretty naive," says one VIP concierge who has worked with Uchitel..."Rachel Uchitel works for Tiger the minute he gets off the plane wherever he is: from dinner, to photos, to nightclubs, to drugs, to girls — whatever he wants."
And Tiger's a mighty whale. Serge estimates she's probably on retainer for about 10-15k per month to handle all his dirty business, and the tips for successful Tiger poontang-wrangling (among other things) could net her upwards of 50k in tips. Rachel knows not to mess around with somebody like Tiger; that whole "I didn't bang Tiger!" charade she pulled with anybody who asked after the National Enquirer tailed her to Melbourne may have been somewhat true (meaning: she's not his main chick), but Tiger's probably not concerned with whatever she has to say about their true-or-false copulation activities — he's more concerned that she knows how Tiger's been feeding off a menu of 20-and-30-something bubbleheads for years provided to him by Uchitel via her concierge service. No, it's not exactly prostitution — but these girls are flown in from LA to Vegas for a weekend of all-expenses and free drinks and admission into this world of über-rich sleaziness. If a famous athlete takes an interest, they certainly have the option to do whatever it is they want (no pressure!). So Rachel? She basically got caught in Melbourne on one of her many girl-corralling expeditions for one of her most important clients, which is a crucial part of her job.
"She knows everybody and everybody knows her," Serge says. "The clubs pay her big money for the clients that she brings in. She's not a fucking floozy or nothing. She's a real event planner. She's not just some girl that lifts up the velvet rope and sucks guy's dicks. She's the kind of girl that when you talk to her, you know, she's all business. She's beautiful, she's smart and her agenda is to land big clients — not big boyfriends." And if Uchitel were to start dishing, then plenty of other Sportsmen of the Year — not to mention certain members of the media who cover them — would suffer a similar fate as Tiger. There are many, many, many doors that many, many, many people would prefer stay tightly closed for now. [...]

Tiger 'Chipped In' for Affairs
A smokin'-hot lingerie model not only got Tiger's attention -- she also got a bundle of his dough to stay in his den, an astounding new report says...It is not known how many women he's given money to. But he has plenty of bucks to spare. [...]

Tiger Woods Paid for Sex with Hookers, Madame Alleges
Ho that Tiger!

Married golf great Tiger Woods hired high-priced prostitutes several times from a well-known Hollywood madam, she told The Post last night.

Michelle Braun said she sent at least four escorts on pay-for-sex dates with the randy Woods six times from late 2006 to 2007 -- charging him a total of $60,000.

"The most was for a girl in Manhattan" -- a petite, pillow-lipped looker named Loredana, Braun said. "He paid $15,000 for her."

Braun said some of the trysts involved Woods hiring two prostitutes at a time -- and that he'd call her when he wanted to order up beautiful female companions.

"He liked girl-on-girl," Braun said. "He had sex with them together." [...]

COMMENTS
If this is what Tiger did when he was in the States, imagine what went on when he frequently visited Dubai...'prostitution capital of the Middle East', aka Ground Zero for the International illegal sex trade. Can't wait for the stories from there.//

Let me guess...the women will go to jail...//

Camden Hamlet

2009-12-06T20:56:00.002-05:00

Camden, New Jersey

Caught Tiger

2009-12-06T19:44:00.010-05:00

Tiger Woods Urged to Confess All to Oprah Winfrey as Allegations of a Sixth Mistress Emerges
TIGER Woods was last night urged to confess all to chat show queen Oprah Winfrey – as allegations of a SIXTH mistress emerged.

The golfing star’s team of lawyers and PR advisers are desperate for Woods to spill the beans on Oprah’s sofa, possibly alongside his devastated wife Elin.

A source said: “Everyone around him believes it is the only way he will salvage any respect or even attempt to rebuild his family man image.” [...]

COMMENT
The only reason Tiger is not coming out in front of the camera's is there something bigger out there that can ruin him. There could be a love child, pictures, sex tapes, possible drug use, who knows. But there is something big out there. You never see celebrities or well known politicians come out and apologize more then once, and when they do apologize it is usually because it's all out on the table and they have no place to hide anymore. Don't be surprised if this story gets bigger. [UsMagazine.com - 12/09/09]

KELIS - Caught Out There

#jerseyshore

2009-12-05T05:11:00.008-05:00

@thecajunboy After 2 hrs of Jersey Shore, I feel like I just watched Jesus puree a live puppy while being fisted by Hitler. I’m scarred forever. #jerseyshore

“Best $2k I Ever Spent!” Fist Pumping At The Jersey Shore, Your First Episode Recap
TONIGHT the world was introduced to eight of the most compelling characters ever to grace the screen. More akin to a surreal version of “The Real Word” than MTV’s other location related dramas “The Hills “ and “The City” the two mind-boggling hours that made up the premiere of MTV’s “Jersey Shore” took us deep inside of a foreign culture in a manner expected of a National Geographic documentary. This, ladies and gentlemen, is the realm of the Guido, and it is unlike anything you have ever seen before. While a written recap will never be able to come close to what was displayed on air, we’ll do our best to bring you up to date, part to educate, and part to prove to ourselves that it actually happened. So without further ado, let us introduce you to the stars of what is now officially the most important hour of our lives. And no, we have not made up or embellished a single one of these quotes. [...]

The Lessons of Jersey Shore
I AM so inspired, I'm not recapping the show so much as running down the unique ways of the people we see on screen, as a group. Much like Rock of Love, whose void in pop culture Jersey Shore fills with Italian sausage, this may be a trashfest, yes, but it is cultural. This is how people live, and even though I spent my first 18 years in Jersey, their ways are foreign to me. We're all in this together. Come, let's learn the lessons: [...]

Welcome to the Jersey Shore (and the Greatest show on Earth)
WHAT is there to say about last night's 2-hour premiere of Jersey Shore on MTV? I was tempted to just post a picture of the orange puss that oozed out of my eye holes after watching this, because that pretty much sums it up. Seriously, Vinnie was right. Pink eye is THAT contagious.

It was like every season of Rock of Love rolled into two hours. I mean, there was barf (TWICE), a pierced peen, bottomless hot tubbing, skanks galore, a punch to the face, a game of Ring Around the Rosie, a cameo by The Bible, more booze than even The Hoff can handle, a million different kinds of SITUATIONS, snatch snatching, t-shirts with Geckos on them and A DUCK PHONE!

The truth is, I never knew that I have so much in common with Guidos and Guidoettes. It was almost like looking at my home movies or going to one of my family reunions. Here's the top 5 reasons on why Guidos and Guidoettes are just like US! [...]

Jersey Shore: A Field Study
JERSEY SHORE is like opening a tiny present to find it is full of diamonds, but diamonds made of booze, puke, fights, diseases, and discarded thongs. You thought this gift couldn't get better, but it does. It really, really does. [...]

A Few Thoughts About Jersey Shore
ANIMAL doesn’t typically offer thoughts on reality television, but since last night’s premiere of Jersey Shore was such a cultural milestone, we just can’t pass up the opportunity to offer a few words on the show.

Okay, where to begin…HOLY SHIT WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?!?!?!?! Was that not everything you expected it to be, and more? Wow. Just wow. [...]

Jersey Shore's Top Ten Catchphrase Countdown
MTV finally got their act together and debuted not one but two hour-long episodes of Jersey Shore last night. Over the course of those 120 minutes, no less than ten stunning new catchphrases were born. So won't you join along as we count them down? [...]

RATINGS: MTV's Jersey Shore Off to a Solid Start
MTV's much-hyped and mega-Tweeted "Jersey Shore" is off to a strong start with some of the network's core audiences.

Thursday's supersized two-hour premiere was the No. 2 show of the night among women 12-34, according to Nielsen. It averaged a 1.2 rating in that demo, finishing behind only one other cablecast: Bravo's monster hit, "The Real Housewives of Orange County."

It also improved MTV's performance in the time period by triple digits vs. the past month.

That's great news for MTV, since young women drive buzz on reality shows. Get them hooked, and they'll soon be demanding their boyfriends tune in as well.

Actually, "Jersey" didn't do half-bad with younger men, at least relative to other female reality soaps. [...]

'Situation' Panties! Proclaim Love for Mike on Your Private Parts

I would like to see a guido version of Mad Men!

OH.MY.GOD.
GENIUS!!!!! You even gave her Theresa's non-forehead! Wait. Did you put those nails on her?!?!? [Jezebel.com]

UNSCRIPTED:
Just take your shirt off, and they come to you. It's like a fly comes to shit. -Ronnie

My abs are so ripped up, we call it the situation. -Mike "The Situation"

You haven’t seen anything until you’ve seen me at the Jersey fucking Shore. -Nicole "Snookie"

If you don’t know me, you’d probably hate me, because you wish you were me. -Jenni "JWoww"

I feel like this job is beneath me. I’m a bartender, I do, like, you know, great things. -Angelina

You know what time it is? It’s time to get my rhino juice in my SYSSSTem. The Rhino juice get the night going. I mean whenever that comes up it’s always a filthy night. It really is. That’s the root of all evil. -Ronnie

I wait til the last minute to go shave. I wait til the last minute to put the shirt on cause it feels fresh. These are rules to live by. Shave last minute, haircut the day of, maybe some tanning and the gym. You gotta get the guido handbook. -Mike "The Situation"

A guidette is somebody who knows how to club it up, takes really good care of themselves, has pretty hair, cakes on makeup, has tan skin, wears the highest heels, pretty much they know how to own it and rock it. -Sammi "Sweetheart"

[GuestofaGuest.com]

Feel the Hate

2009-11-28T06:14:00.002-05:00

Phenomenon

2009-11-23T03:01:00.009-05:00

[Flickr.com__editha.VAMPIRE GIRL]

Madrid__[Flickr.com__MyCine]

"Twilight" Sequel Sets New Opening-Day Record
LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - "The Twilight Saga: New Moon" smashed the record for a single-day opening at the North American box office, and was on track to score one of the biggest weekend tallies of all time, according to preliminary data issued on Saturday.

The vampire romance sequel earned $72.7 million across the United States and Canada on Friday, a figure that includes record-breaking midnight sales of $26.3 million, said the film's closely held distributor Summit Entertainment.

The old record for a single-day opening was $62.2 million, held by last year's "Batman" sequel "The Dark Knight," which went on to become the second-biggest grossing movie of all time in North America before accounting for inflation.
[...]

'New Moon' Sends Box Office Soaring
Recession be damned, Hollywood is on its way to what could be its merriest holiday season ever, thanks to a group of undead teenagers.

"The Twilight Saga: New Moon" posted the third-largest opening in domestic box-office history, not accounting for ticket price inflation, having sold an estimated $140.7 million worth of tickets in the U.S. and Canada from Friday through Sunday. Only Warner Bros.' "The Dark Knight" and Sony's "Spider-Man 3" had bigger openings.

Summit Entertainment's "New Moon" smashed the previous record for a movie opening outside the summer event movie season and more than doubled the launch of the first "Twilight" movie last year. [...]

For Summit, which at less than 3 years old has very few hits under its belt, "New Moon" is a massive financial success. The movie grossed an additional $118.1 million in 25 foreign countries, giving it a worldwide launch total of $258.8 million. Studios typically keep about half of their films' domestic box-office receipts and 40% from overseas.

"New Moon" cost just under $50 million to produce, making it the least expensive movie ever to open to more than $200 million worldwide. Even including Summit's marketing costs, it is likely to start generating profit from box-office revenue alone, before hitting DVD, pay cable and the other post-theatrical markets where most successful films go into the black. [...]

Vampires, Werewolves and Love (slideshow)

The Twilight Saga: New Moon Premiere in Los Angeles (slideshow)

Critics Say New Moon, Twihards Suck
The reviews for New Moon are terrible, with critics trashing the script, director, actors, CGI, and even Twihards themselves, saying the film panders to fans who wouldn't know a good movie if it bit them.

"I can't comment on the acting because I didn't catch Pattinson, Stewart and Lautner doing any."

Taylor Lautner__L'Uomo Vogue

Interview Magazine: Taylor Lautner
When rumors surfaced last year that 17-year-old Taylor Lautner would not appear in the Twilight sequel because he was too physically slight to portray a bookworm-turned-werewolf, a great shriek rose from Fangirl Island. “Noooooo!!” wrote one obsessive on a Twilight discussion board. “omg. Pleezze let Taylor come back,” implored another. Some were more militant: “If they don’t put him in . . . there will be a massive Twilight fan attack!”

Taylor Lautner Breaks Down Three Types of Twihards (vid)

Interview Magazine cover shoot: Kristen Stewart

Mad World

2009-11-22T03:18:00.001-05:00

[Gawker.com]

Fuck it.

2009-11-22T03:15:00.001-05:00

Bullocks!

2009-11-22T02:59:00.006-05:00

Pink Hat__Maciej Dakowicz

This is Britain
Pictures entered in this category should seek to reveal the essence of contemporary Britain and Britishness. Get under the skin of British culture and take a fresh look at the familiar. Document the British at work and at play.

RELATED
London vs. New York

Yo, Guido!

2009-11-20T23:21:00.010-05:00

Men's Diamond 10K White Gold pinky ring

Confessions of a Real New Jersey Guido
What, exactly, is a guido?
It's a fashion statement, really. Trendy jeans and tight shirts and the spiked haircut are all very standard. I mean, we kind of defined guidos back in the day. Hitting the gym and getting a tan is part of it. When you're in that scene and you're competing with those other guys, they're not coming to the table with flabby arms. The only way for you to pick up Jersey girls is to look as good as the next guy in line. It's a competitive thing. That whole culture is about going to the gym five times each week.

Does a scrawny guy like a hipster have a prayer with the ladies on the shore?
To be honest with you, no. He doesn't stand a chance.

You guys sure are confident.
Look. Five days a week to the gym and then buying a new outfit from Bloomingdale's on Friday to wear for the weekend? What's not to be confident about? A real guido doesn't need to analyze women and intimidate himself before he even goes up to one. We don't care if a girl knows we're not rich. It's still worth a shot, right?

How to Build a Guido
Urban Dictionary: GUIDO
NJ Guido
Official Home of the Seaside Fist Pumpers
The Guido, Anthropological Enigma of the Modern Era, Explained

Scare Tactics

2009-10-31T18:07:00.007-04:00

Grim Reaper rides in a motorized coffin__Salem, Mass. [Sacbee Gallery]

Halloween Witch Ride
More than 3,000 scary-looking cyclists got a jump on Halloween yesterday by participating in the 20th annual Halloween Witch Ride to Salem.

Taking off from Bruce Rossmeyer’s Boston Harley-Davidson in Everett, werewolves, skeletons and other ghouls all shared a scenic route through the North Shore

Kawasaki Halloween Parade 2008
The Kawasaki Halloween Parade is held on the last Sunday of October every year near Kawasaki Station. There are other big Halloween celebrations in places like Harajuku, but the Kawasaki version is more for adults. They have DJs and dancing, and there aren’t so many kids. It’s definitely worth checking out.

Kawasaki, Japan__Freaks on Parade

A masked man poses during a Halloween Convoy of Terror in Cali, Colombia October 29, 2009. Every year motorcycle enthusiasts dress up in their scariest outfits and ride around Cali to celebrate Halloween. [Daylife.com]

A man dressed like a zombie tries to frighten visitors during a Halloween party at Frankenstein Castle, about 30 km (19 miles) south of Frankfurt October 23, 2009. [Daylife.com]

CELEBS PLAY DRESS UP
The Davis brothers may be oil heirs, but they look far from royal as Paris and Nicky Hilton.

Michelle Trachtenburg is a gorgeous Snow White, but we don't quite get Lydia Hearst's costume - a toga-wearing vampire with butterfly wings?

Something Borrowed

2009-10-27T18:32:00.002-04:00

Can You Bring the Kushner-Trump Wedding Photos to Life?

Hollywood Fake Out

2009-10-27T16:17:00.012-04:00

Kellie Pickler, before

American Idol season 5 contestant Kellie Pickler won the hearts of viewers as the southern girl-next-door, but post Idol, her look underwent some adjustments. The country singer was rumored to have had a breast augmentation and was heavily scrutinized by the media for her voluptuous makeover.

Judge Simon Cowell even said, “It’s like she’d gone to Dolly Parton school or something. I’ve never seen anything like it in my life.”

Priscilla Presley, before

Priscilla Presley was the victim of a botched cosmetic facial surgery in March 2008. TMZ reported at the time that the actress and other Hollywood stars had been injected with auto mechanic-grade silicone by a young Argentinian 'doctor' named Daniel Serrano. Serrano, nicknamed "Dr. Jiffy Lube," was later convicted for using unapproved drugs, but, sadly, Priscilla's face is here to stay.

Lisa Rinna, 1998

Lisa Rinna, Oscars 2009

Lisa Rinna was once a fresh-faced actress in the 90s. But now, the outspoken TV host has gone overboard with her facial enhancements and she's the first one to admit it. Rinna claims she started injecting silicone into her lips 23 years ago to look like Barbara Hershey in "Beaches" and now regrets putting Juvederm in her cheeks. "When you change your face, you don't look like yourself," she said. "Looking fresher is one thing. I look like a freak! I always said I wouldn't change my face, but I did it.

Lisa Rinna Poses with Plastic Surgery
Lisa Rinna Once Had Normal Lips

Pamela Anderson

Richie Rich catwalk

When Pamela Anderson made her move from Canada to Hollywood, the aspiring actress looked like the girl next door. But right before her first Playboy photo shoot, Anderson underwent breast augmentation to complete her curvy look. After a minor health concern that lead to the implants removal in 1999, Anderson was silicone free...until getting them back in a few years later.

Lara Flynn Boyle, before

2008

Lara Flynn Boyle appears to have gone overboard with plastic surgery. The actress has gradually made her famous face less recognizable by reportedly undergoing lip augmentation, rhinoplasty and possible cheek implants. It's hard to imagine anyone wanting to pay thousands of dollars for a "trout pout!"

Plastic People
_____________________________________________

Chat: Botched Celebrity Plastic Surgery
Plastic surgeon Dr. Michael Sundine of Newport Beach discussed celebrities' botched plastic surgery in the weekly online chat...Among the celebrities discussed were Janice Dickinson, Tara Reid, Lara Flynn Boyle and many more, from Burt Reynolds and Michael Jackson to Joan Van Ark and Melanie Griffith.

Hollywood Tan

2009-10-27T15:34:00.003-04:00

Hugh Jackman

Kelly Ripa

Tanorexic in Hollywood

Mile High Club

2009-10-27T15:21:00.008-04:00

Cost: $50 million

Wanna ride, babe?

Time Warner Picks Planes Over People
Time Warner started cutting costs across its Time Inc. publishing division this week and is hoping to save as much as $100 million by paring back expenses and slashing several hundred jobs. One way the company could have made up the difference without sacrificing any of its employees? By selling off the three Gulfstream jets it owns! [...]

Happy Monday!

2009-10-19T02:13:00.009-04:00

[Gawker.com]

Deflated: Balloon Boy's the Story of Our Ugly, Sorry Era
But fame — and what passes for genuine drama — is a hell of a drug. So this sad story (that I'd rather someone have written before it happened, mostly, because kids were involved, and they shouldn't have been) is about the image of a balloon that might've had a kid in it and was terrifyingly captivating. If you watched, you felt terror, and you felt like shit for watching it. Between Wife Swap and the video of Falcon Heene maybe being on the balloon, there's no question that America's got strong, strong voyeuristic impulses. How do you think we turn a dime around here?

Mom Admits to Balloon Boy Hoax: Court Record
DENVER (Reuters) - The mother of a Colorado boy thought to be aboard a homemade helium balloon has admitted to investigators the whole thing was a hoax, according to a court document made public on Friday.

The local sheriff had already said the October 15 "Balloon Boy" incident was a publicity stunt and expected felony charges to be filed against the 6-year-old boy's parents, Richard and Mayumi Heene. [...]

Investigator Wants Balloon Boy Parents Barred from Making Money Off of Spectacle
FORT COLLINS, Colo. - The parents who pulled off the balloon boy hoax are already facing the prospect of jail time and paying tens of thousands of dollars in restitution over their stunt. An investigator also wants to forbid the couple from making any money off their newfound fame. [...]

'Balloon Boy' Hoaxers Richard and Mayumi Heene Sentenced to Jail for Hot-Air Publicity Stunt
The balloon boy hoax parents were sentenced to jail time Wednesday and forbidden from profiting from the sick stunt.

Richard Heene got 90 days in county jail, while his wife, Mayumi Heene, got 20 days. Both parents will be on probation for four years and face fines of up to $500,000. [...]

Paranormal Activity

2009-10-04T00:49:00.008-04:00

Getting Freaky with 'Paranormal Activity'
[Yahoo.com - 09.25.09]
Ten years ago, moviegoers were scared out of their minds by "The Blair Witch Project." Will the newly released screamfest "Paranormal Activity" have the same effect? Early search interest points to "yes."

The film is shot documentary style (but is scripted, like "Blair Witch"), and concerns a couple who may have a poltergeist in their home. They're dubious at first, but quickly change their tunes after "things" start happening. But by then is it too late? After all, horror movies have a tendency to punish doubters as much as amorous teenagers.

One of the things that makes "Paranormal Activity" unique is its release schedule. Right now, the film is only being screened in a handful of theaters. However, if moviegoers make enough noise and bug the studio bigwigs, the film may get a wider release. Wisely, the filmmakers have made it easy for fans to voice their demand. A visit to the movie's official site leads to a form that goes to theater owners. Power to the people.

And then there's the trailer -- "Paranormal Activity" did something unique in that the trailer aims the camera at a special sneak preview audience reacting to what they're seeing on screen. The moviegoers scream, jump, and generally turn into blubbering messes of terror. It's what every horror fan wants to see.

Lookups on "paranormal activity" are up a whopping 450% this week, and related queries on "paranormal activity trailer" are also trending upwards. Feeling brave? You can watch it for yourself below...

PARANORMAL ACTIVITY: Movie Trailer - The most popular videos are a click away

Fans Reward Paranormal Activity with Sold-Out Shows and $500K
Every once in a while the stars align and good things happen to this genre we all call our own -- and to the people who make the movies we love. Case in point: Every single screening of Paranormal Activity sold out last night, and the film is looking to rake in $500,000 for the weekend. Hearty congrats to filmmaker Oren Peli and to Paramount, which has executed a textbook successful marketing campaign for the film. [...]

Reviews
This is one of the few films that is actually better than the hype. Not only is the film extremely terrifying, it is also well directed and realistically acted.

This is a strong movie that should please both hardcore horror fans and casual viewers equally, something that's very difficult to do.

Peli works at mining the unknown, the unknowable, like a minimalist, using small moments and virtually no special effects exceedingly well.

Paranormal Activity takes all of the things that go bump in the night and gives you enough of a reason to think they might be real.

Making the most out of a single location and tiny cast, it's the scariest movie of the year.

The viewer walks out of Paranormal Activity wishing there was more to it, while acknowledging all the same that the film's cumulative impact is formidable, permeating long after the lights have come up.

Although [Oren Peli] has borrowed liberally from films from "The Blair Witch Project" to "The Exorcist" and a dash of "Lost Highway," "Paranormal Activity" is a sterling standout in a genre that usually disappoints

With a $15,000 budget too puny to empty a petty-cash drawer, the no-frills Paranormal Activity comes packed with thrills.

What director Oren Peli manages to accomplish with moving sheets, baby powder tracks and a swinging chandelier is truly remarkable.

While the film is well worth seeing, you might consider skipping it in theaters and renting the DVD on a night when it's dark, quiet and a little scary in your own house.

Placing a camera on a tripod suddenly seems revolutionary.

After watching Paranormal Activity, you might be inclined to sleep with the lights on for a week or four.

The sneak preview audience was gasping and shrieking throughout. A couple of teenage girls had to leave the theater midway through and sat huddled on a bench in the lobby. It's that freaky.

It's shoe-string scary, delivering a terrifying, unsettling 90 minutes without a single bit of CG or foam latex in sight, and all confined to a single house.

An instant classic of the mockumentary genre.

Exclusive Interview: Oren Peli
"We did have weird things happening at the house," confesses writer-director Oren Peli, a new name in horror poised to make a big splash in Hollywood's blood pool. "I'm not necessarily saying we had a ghost, but there were a lot of unexplained things. That's how the seed for my first film came about." Peli, an Israeli native now residing in Southern California, then wondered what he might document if he decided to set up cameras around the house to record what occurs while he sleeps. "I thought it would make a great movie. I think a lot of people can relate to the question of what happens at night when you're most vulnerable. You have no idea what's going on. This taps into the most primal fear, if something is lurking in your home there's not much you can do about it."

Born from this idea is Peli's debut entry in horror's enduring haunted house sub-genre, Paranormal Activity, a low-budget spine-tingler for the "Ghost Hunters" generation. It takes The Amityville Horror and thrusts a Blair Witch Project spin on the concept of a spooked-out couple - in this case Katie and Micah - who believe something has moved into their quaint San Diego home. Shot through a home video camera, "Activity" serves as a documented case of their nightly hauntings and the unraveling fabric of their relationship as the supernatural occurrences intensify.

Paranormal Activity, shot on a seven-day schedule, screened to terrified Los Angeles audiences at Screamfest last October; a Slamdance bow followed in January. Since then, Dreamworks snatched up Peli's opus for distribution and intends to remake it. Peli, again, will be at the helm. Shock spoke to the director well before his studio deal and days before its premiere in Park City, Utah.

ShockTillYouDrop.com: This film concerns itself with demonology, can you talk about the research involved in this?
Oren Peli: The pre-production period involved a lot of research. This was the first film I ever made so I directed, edited, audio mixed and did the casting - basically everything including getting the house ready, which took about a year. So that was a year before we started physical photography. I read a lot of books on the subject. Many interviews, accounts of exorcisms and stories about haunted homes. All accounts on the topic, so now I have a large library about every angle of haunting, possessions and exorcisms. There are even some good TV shows. So, yes, I got my hands on everything. From my research, I learned the more violent entities are demonic. We wanted to be as truthful as we could be. [...]

Shock: With the concept in place then, how did you arrive to the decision to shoot the film via a home video camera?
Peli: I knew from the very beginning this was going to be the way I was going to shoot it. No question about it. I wanted to make it look as real and natural as possible; I've always been drawn to this storytelling style. It breaks the mental barrier when audiences see a regular film and become aware of the camera movements, they know a crew is there and there are stars. When you strip all of this away, the audience thinks they are seeing something with a higher degree of plausibility. The suspending of disbelief becomes all the easier. You have an audience that's more invested in the story and the characters. [...]

Shock: Scripting a film like this - did you simply jot down dramatic beats for the actors to follow or did you lay out a full screenplay for them?
Peli: There was no dialogue. There was only an outline of the story, the actors never received any script. They didn't know about anything they were getting into. All they knew is they were going to do something about a haunted house and basically discovered everything as they were shooting. There were no lines for them to follow. Everything was spontaneous. [...]

Shock: Take us through a shooting day on a schedule as tight as yours...
Peli: It was crazy. We were shooting at night, shooting at day and as we were shooting, I was constantly reviewing the footage, editing it myself to make sure everything worked fine. And in some cases I had to apply the visual effects while we were shooting for scenes while Katie and Micah were reviewing the footage. So I had to capture the video, do all of the processing, lay in the visual effects so the characters could view it on their laptop. It was an intense week. [...]

Shock: How did Kate and Micah take to this production and this journey with you? It must've been a rollercoaster ride...
Peli: They were loving every moment of it. Unbelievably professional and smart. Their instincts and intuition were phenomenal, so they could adapt to their characters right away - what was authentic for their role and what wasn't. They were much more than actors, they became storytellers.

Shock: What did you learn through this experience?
Peli: I learned a lot about the process of filmmaking and that if you're totally persistent and want to follow through with something, you'll get it done. END

'Paranormal Activity' Becomes Mos Profitable Movie Ever
LOS ANGELES, Calif. -- "Paranormal Activity" has just surpassed "The Blair Witch Project" to become the most profitable movie ever.

The box office hit was made for less than $15,000 and as of Wednesday has grossed a whopping $65.1 million, TheWrap.com reported.

The movie's box office success has reaped a staggering 414,233 percent return on its initial investment. [...]

Neighsayers

2009-10-03T10:14:00.005-04:00

Sarah Jessica Parker Looks Tired
A few sugar lumps will soon perk her up no end.

SJP may have one foot in the grave, but the other three seem pretty stable.

As long as she's alive and working, that's the mane thing.

It must be the saddlebags under her eyes.

If she's trying to curry favor, odds are it won't work furlong.

Dunno, she seems pretty stable to me, but with SATC continually dangling that carrot out there, it's no wonder she looks a little run-down.

She doesn't look that bad! SJP is still hot to trot.

As long as she's still hoofing it I think she's still in the running.

Let's be realistic, she may be tiring down the back stretch, but she is not yet ready for the glue factory.

It's high-stakes, with all she has riding on this.

All these neigh-sayers are a bunch of appaloosas! SJP still spurs a funny feeling in my jockeys. An unbridled feeling of passion, if you will.

Whoa fella! Not to be a nag, but it sounds like you're champing at the bit.

If she's that tired she should have her secretariat cancel some of her events. She needs to spend more time at home, being a mudder to her kids.

She once was a perky fillie, but now anyone who thinks so has blinders on.

She shouldn't stop with two SATC films. She should go for the trifecta!

Get your rest, SJP! We can't have you going tits up on us.

Why the long face?

Sarah Jessica Parker Keeps Fans at Bay
*Snort* In general, it is advised not to make remarks based solely upon apperance. Unless it's about SJP and possibly Jennifer Aniston. It's like a safety valve. I see a SJP open caption and pop-up like a trained monkey. It's commenter crack. Jennifer Aniston is a gaitway drug. Not to whinny but I canter stop. Run for the roses while there is still hope.

The List

2009-10-03T09:52:00.005-04:00

OVER 100 IN FILM COMMUNITY SIGN POLANSKI PETITION
1. Martin Scorsese
2. Woody Allen
3. Harvey Weinstein [m. Georgina Chapman]
4. Terry Gilliam
5. Steven Soderbergh
6. David Lynch [d.p. Isabella Rossellini]
7. Pedro Almodovar
8. Wes Anderson
9. Darren Aronofsky [d.p. Rachel Weisz]
10. Fanny Ardant
11. Monica Bellucci [m. Vincent Cassel]
12. Jonathan Demme
13. Michael Mann
14. Alexander Payne [m. Sandra Oh]
15. Julian Schnabel
16. Tilda Swinton
17. Wim Wenders
18. Salman Rushdie
19. Isabelle Huppert
20. Mike Nichols [m. Diane Sawyer]
21. Diane von Furstenberg
22. Stephen Frears
23. Taylor Hackford [m. Helen Mirren]
24. Neil Jordan
25. Sam Mendes [m. Kate Winslet]
26. Harrison Ford [eng. Calista Flockhart]
27. Natalie Portman
28. Kristen Scott Thomas
29. Jeremy Irons
30. Penelope Cruz
31. John Landis
32. Gael Garcia Bernal
33. Bernardo Bertolucci
34. Ethan Coen
35. Guillermo del Toro
36. Brett Ratner
37. Ariel Dorfman
Dorfman also is one of the Group of 88 professors who, in the wake of the Lacrosse players scandal, signed a controversial letter thanking protesters for "making a collective noise" on "what happened to this young woman" - assumed to be rape. The letter, which was later published as a full page ad in local newspapers and reprinted across the country, has been widely criticized as a prejudgment; later it was determined that no sexual assault had occurred. [Wikipedia]
[...]

UPDATED LIST

Reminder: Roman Polanski Raped a Child
Let's take a moment to recall that according to the victim's grand jury testimony, Roman Polanski instructed Samantha Geimer (nee Gailey) to get into a jacuzzi naked, refused to take her home when she begged to go, began kissing her even though she said no and asked him to stop; performed cunnilingus on her as she said no and asked him to stop; put his penis in her vagina as she said no and asked him to stop; asked if he could penetrate her anally, to which she replied, "No," then went ahead and did it anyway, until he had an orgasm...Roman Polanski raped a child. No one, not even him, disputes that.

COMMENTS
The only unforgivable crime in Hollywood is to speak out against the Hollywood elite. [Gawker.com]

Christ, I hate to think about what the signatories on this letter have permitted themselves, drawn against the account of their artistic ‘genius’. [IndieWire.com]

Silence can speak more than words. Of course no one is obligated to speak up, but I just wish someone would. [Jezebel.com]

[Shakesville]
This hurts my heart so much. I mean, has everyone in cinema gone completely batshit?! DO they have any idea what they are saying with this petition?
I'm...so...disappointed. There are so many actors/directors on that list that I used to respect and admire; I feel so betrayed.

What the fuck is this? The Day The Movies Died?

Terry Gilliam signed the petition. I'm ready to secede from the human race.

I just dumped Harrison Ford. Which is hard, since I've loved him since I was 6 or so. But shit - this is unforgivable.

Natalie Portman? What the...
OMG. I can't even talk. I can't even TYPE.
I feel like crying. And not like, fake internet emoticon crying but REAL CRYING. I'm so disturbed by this. Can we get all of the signatories in a room and make them one by one stand up and explain why they are totally okay with drugging and raping children?

Fuckballs, man. This gets worse and worse.

Folks have gotten harder time in prison for writing bad checks---and this joker skipped town over a 43-day sentence for child rape? What. In. The. Hell?

This is just ridiculous. I can't believe at one time I dreamed of working for or with many of these people.
Guillermo del Toro and Ethan Coen... this just sucks so much. And I found Vangelis on the complete list. I cannot stomach that a number like this, from what ideally should be a very conscious population, finds it socially responsible to publicly condone rape, rape of a child no less?
I wish this wasn't so, but I also now have good reason to detest Brett Ratner the person as well as Brett Ratner the filmmaker. As if ruining X-Men wasn't enough, and he had to go give child-rape a thumbs-up to let people know he's evil.

It's not just that Polanski raped one girl once. He has demonstrated a very clear pattern of using his position as director and auteur to gain sexual access to very young women and girls with little to no concern for their welfare. He's not just a child rapist. He is a serial child rapist. He has exploited the very career these people so admire him for as his weapon of choice.
That people whose work I've enjoyed and respected can't see that hurts deeply. I don't know yet if I've written them off.

Well, fuck that shit. Unless these people apologize fully and explicitly, they are not getting one damned penny of my money. How hard is it to see the wrong here? What part of "raped a child" is complicated? Screw them all.

You know what? Dismissing half the human race, and the most vulnerable proportion of an already-vulnerable group within it, IS A FUCKING MORAL FAILING.

It breaks my heart that Guillermo del Toro signed this.
It makes me feel very hopeful though, knowing that Harvey Weinstein has been putting a lot of pressure on a lot of people to sign, and this is all he has so far. There are a lot of people in Hollywood who have looked at this petition and said no. It isn't as good as a public statement, but the absence of some very prominent names is hopeful to me.

The sanctity of film festivals. Hmm. What about the sanctity of a child's body?
Sheesh. I've dedicated my professional life to film preservation & archiving. This crap is making me wonder if I should change my profession again (tho I keep holding out that I'll find an employer with a library of film & video related to supporting human rights for me to take care of).

Terry Gilliam, Tilda Swinton, Ethan Coen, less so some of the others on that growing list - I've held you in high esteem, have cherished some of what your art has said over the years. . . I seriously hope you rethink your stance, but until then, my mind won't let me watch your works.

I wonder if any of them will realize the mistake and remove their name or apologize for reflexively signing it (either a real apology or a stupid apology like "I'm sorry if anyone was offended by my signature appearing on this petition.").

Jeremy Irons and Gael Garcia Bernal... this just gets worse and worse...Incidentally, I have never been told by quite so many people not to "get so wound up about this" ever before, about anything.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Jeremy Irons?! But...but... *cries*
I'm sad about Kristen and Gael, too. Especially Kristen. But I'm not surprised at ALL by del Toro. His two best friends signed that thing at the beginning. I saw his name not being there as an oversight.

Laws are for for poor people, apparently.

Wow. I think I might be done with movies. What insular scum.
A boycott sounds like an excellent idea.

From all the commentary on Polanski I'm noticing a pattern. His defenders claim he "had sex with" a 13 year old girl, the ones who want to see him brought to justice correctly use the term rape.

Will You Be Able to Watch Anything Created by Polanski Apologists?
The world is made up of strangers. Due to proximity and luck, we get various opportunities to make a handful of these strangers into friends or acquaintances. We fill the empty spaces with people we "know" only from a distance.

Whenever we connect with a piece of art, in any form, we also take on a love of sorts for the person or persons responsible for creating it, as on some level, we believe that we know them, simply because their work seems to speak directly to us. It springs from a desire to be understood, I guess: we project our own emotions on to an album, or a film, or a novel, and we assume that whoever made it feels and thinks and believes the same things we do, if only to feel like someone out there gets what we're going through. [...]

I suppose in the end the hurt and disappointment we feel comes mostly from the revelations that we don't know these people at all; all we know of them is what they choose to show us. In many ways, they're coasting on very glamorous Facebook profile pages, with carefully selected photographs, soundtracks, and quotes. And just like we do with anyone we have a crush on, we connect to these images and sounds and fail to realize that these people are all just as flawed and messed up as everyone else—and that sometimes, they do unspeakably horrible things. There are two modes people go into when someone breaks their heart—for Polanski's defenders, it seems they've chosen denial. For the rest of us, there's the other option; hurt, anger, disappointment, sadness, and eventually, walking away for good and spending our time (and money) elsewhere.

COMMENTS
SORRY, THE ACTIVELY BOYCOTTING THE "Pro Polanski" petition signatories thing will never work for me. I'm a rabid film fan, and Kevin Smith and Chris Rock could never be accused of having made even one decent movie. Of the rest of the "Against Polanski" petition, I've honest to God never even heard. I think I'm in the minority on this blog, but I have zero problems with adoring legitimately wonderful works and thinking their creators are people I don't want at my dinner parties. Although, I lie: I would want David Lynch and Martin Scorsese at my dinner parties. If Polanski wasn't in jail right now, I'm ashamed to say I would want him too at my dinner parties. If only to get all up in his grille about his douchery, and talk shop. This immoral f*cker made a half dozen movies that I love more than life itself. I'm curious what he'd be like in person and what he'd say in his defense? Are there horns sprouting out of his head? Is he delusional?

I think I'm gonna get into trouble here for this, but I'm just being earnest.

MY GRANDFATHER WAS A POLICE OFFICER AND during his time on the force he was credited with saving two lives.

He was also a pedophile and raped my cousins, my sisters and me.

Now, years later, he’s dead and what we, his victims, are left with is a whole family of very sick people who refuse to believe the terrible things he did, and instead like to talk about what a great, heroic man he was because, after all, he saved two lives.

Much like Polanski, it's something that has left a large group of people very much divided and angry.

The writers, actors, directors, producers you’re talking about aren’t saving lives. They are making movies and books for entertainment. In return they receive huge amounts of money, praise, awards, and for reasons I have never been able to understand, the adoration of fans.

No, I don’t separate the artist from the art. I don’t separate the actor from the act. I don’t separate the criminal from the crime.

Wrong is wrong.

PIG

2009-10-03T09:42:00.007-04:00

David Letterman, host of Late Show

David Letterman in Hot Seat Over Affairs
"I know what you're saying - I'll be darned, Dave had sex."

That was the punchline to David Letterman's reality TV moment Thursday night. The Late Show host was trying to lighten the mood after revealing he has had several affairs over the years with female staff members, and that someone tried to blackmail him over his transgressions.

Perhaps this would be a good time for Jay Leno to ask that now-famous question he asked Hugh Grant in the wake of Grant's prostitute scandal: "What the hell were you thinking?"

Letterman's admission to sex with his underlings has sparked a media frenzy and much debate as to how he's handled the crisis and whether he abused his position of power.

"What's more shocking? That David Letterman was being blackmailed over his sexual affairs and of doing 'terrible things' with staffers? Or that Letterman had sex at all?" wrote Elizabeth Snead in the Los Angeles Times.

During his show, Letterman said he has testified before a grand jury and admitted to the sexual relationships.

"My response to that is, yes, I have. Would it be embarrassing if it were made public? Perhaps it would," Letterman told a shocked and silent audience. "I feel like I need to protect these people. I need to certainly protect my family."

Some are praising Letterman for his candour and for beating the media and tabloids to the punch. "Letterman's Brilliant Crisis Management," read the headline for a Slate.com article. [...]

But an article on rightpundits.com has a different take: "The problem for David Letterman's affairs is not the sex itself or even the over-indulgent pseudo apology, but the hypocrisy instead. He has made a habit of excoriating public figures about their affairs over the years and now he is caught with his hand in the veritable cookie jar. He admits to affairs with various female staff members and yet he criticizes others for the same behaviour.

"Regardless of what Letterman thinks of himself, or what we think of his hypocrisy, more importantly to him is what CBS will think of powerful figures having sex with underlings. What is the policy of CBS on boss-employee sex? In most organizations, the Dave Letterman affair(s) would get him fired on the spot. They made Walter Cronkite retire at 65 years of age regardless of popularity, but what is their policy on sex in the office? Is Letterman's job safe?"

The iconic funnyman came clean on his Thursday night show after falling victim to extortion. Letterman said he was sent a letter from someone demanding $2 million or they would go public (by writing a screenplay or book) about Letterman's affairs with women who worked on his show. Letterman, 62, went to the police who told him to write a fake cheque for $2 million. The suspect is alleged to be a CBS employee - Robert Halderman, a 51-year-old Emmy Award-winning producer for the network's news magazine show 48 Hours - who was arrested Thursday and charged with attempted grand larceny. CBS has since released a statement confirming the story and has suspended Halderman from the company.

On Friday, the Manhattan District Attorney's Office announced it is moving forward with the charges.

Letterman has had a history of getting romantically involved with colleagues.

It's not a secret that an ex-girlfriend of Letterman's was also a co-worker - Merrill Markoe, a comedian and author was also one of his writers during the 1980s. In March, Letterman married another former employee, and his girlfriend of 20 years, Regina Lasko, with whom he has a six-year-old son.

TMZ reports that one of the women mentioned in the extortion plot is former Letterman assistant Stephanie Birkitt.

Birkitt may be familiar to Late Show fans, she appeared several times on the show's comedy bits.

According to TMZ , Letterman and Birkitt had an affair that ended before his son Harry was born in 2003. Afterwards, Birkitt reportedly lived with Halderman, and told him of her affair with Letterman and is reportedly "mortified" that her ex-boyfriend (allegedly) used that private information to blackmail Letterman.

TMZ also reports Halderman was allegedly in possession of Birkitt's diary, correspondence and photos - which he said incriminated Letterman.

COMMENTS
THIS is disgusting - he's a pig, he's a hypocrite, and no amount of career success or public appreciation will change that. That's called the "Polanksi Defense" and it's horseshit.

Most workplace allegations of sexual misconduct are predicated on the concept that a boss has coercive power over his or her employees. Workplace sex on unlevel ground invites questions as to whether or not career favors were exchanged, promised, or implied.

Since Dave is a boss on that set, it could be said that having sex with staffers is a form of rape. It's the use and abuse of a position of power to receive sexual favors. Such things are more subtle than champagne and 'ludes, but that doesn't make it okay. I don't think this is something people should laugh off.

Defending someone on the basis of him being likable or an artist is exactly what a lot of Polanski boosters have been doing. I see these crimes as similar, but that could be my kooky morals.

Sex between boss and employee can be consensual, but it's hard to disentangle the consent from the power relationship between boss and employee. Dave has to prove that he didn't imply, promise, or allude to career favors in any of the cases where he screwed his employees. He has to prove (from my perpective; the legal/NBC implications notwithstanding) that consent was achieved strictly on the basis of sexual attraction. Otherwise, I'm going to call him a scumbag and feel pretty confident about it. [Gawker.com]

ANOTHER issue is that this fuels the regrettable tendency of some assholes to think lots of women sleep their way to job security and success. Am I the only one here who's had snide comments and unfounded rumors go around because I landed a plum job or client? I hear people, even women, say things like "You know she sucked someone off for that job" about a woman who was a little more successful than they were. And it's really gross. I've encountered plenty of men who think I might be willing to "be nice" in exchange for special treatment and trust me, once that dynamic has been introduced, I'm going to lose no matter how diplomatic I am. So I'll admit that I wince whenever there's a high profile case of female subordinates who sleep with their bosses and score big perks as a result. [Jezebel.com]

A BOSS sleeping with employees? Legal, but grossly unethical. Jesus, he's your damn boss! Most women would fear being punished for saying "No."

I did. A former boss of mine brazenly asked me to sleep over at his place while his wife (and kids!) were away. I laughed, thinking he was joking, and then he said it again. I said, "No." Before I knew it, every day became a fucking nightmare for me with him busting my ass and humiliating me every chance he had. And I was lucky because he didn't fire me! [Jezebel.com]

WAIT, Letterman created an unfair work environment by paying her legal bills? I'm not trying to defend Dave, but does she bear no responsibility for accepting the payments? Why does she get a pass for the way her (inappropriate) relationship with her boss affected the rest of the staff? She's no victim here. [Jezebel.com]

DARLING, we women of (ahem) a certain age have some perspective on the situation that apparently escapes you.
Screwing the boss to get ahead seems like a great strategy in your 20s and 30s. Believe me, I've seen both men and women do it.
But it has a depressingly bad effect on the rest of the workforce, who must constantly deal with the side effects of the bo-mance. Resentment builds, as hard-working people begin to suspect that their own careers are lagooned while sweetie-of-the-month gets the good assignments, promotions and undivided boss attention.
Look, it's difficult enough to traverse the emotional terrain when two colleagues are romancin'. When it's the boss-man (and it usually IS a man), that terrain is littered with landmines, son. [Gawker.com]

LETTERMAN AND ME
One of the few women ever to write for Late Night with David Letterman, the author (a longtime V.F. contributor) remembers a hostile, sexually charged atmosphere. What’s to be done? Start by breaking late night’s all-male gag order.

WITHOUT naming names or digging up decades-old dirt, let’s address the pertinent questions. Did Dave hit on me? No. Did he pay me enough extra attention that it was noted by another writer? Yes. Was I aware of rumors that Dave was having sexual relationships with female staffers? Yes. Was I aware that other high-level male employees were having sexual relationships with female staffers? Yes. Did these female staffers have access to information and wield power disproportionate to their job titles? Yes. Did that create a hostile work environment? Yes. Did I believe these female staffers were benefiting professionally from their personal relationships? Yes. Did that make me feel demeaned? Completely. Did I say anything at the time? Sadly, no.

Here’s what I did: I walked away from my dream job. The show picked up my option after 13 weeks; then, about two months later, while looking for a nicer apartment, I realized I didn’t want to commit to a yearlong lease. I’d seen enough to know that I was not going to thrive professionally in that workplace. And although there were various reasons for that, sexual politics did play a major part. [...]

I DECIDED to speak up now for three reasons: 1. People who have no knowledge of the situation are voicing opinions, so why not me? 2. Letterman himself opened this up to a public discussion. 3. I’d like to pivot the discussion away from the bedroom and toward the writers’ room, because it pains me that almost 20 years later, the situation for female writers in late-night-TV hasn’t improved. [...]

Makeover Madness

2009-09-02T14:59:00.032-04:00

If "clothes make the man", then the men featured here are fools. We fake-challenged the following candidates to an extreme makeover before their next photo-op turns them into yet another case of gossip roadkill:

Criss Angel: The only thing up his sleeve is more fugly ass jewelry.

His mom has this pic in wallet size.

Matching your bags to your highlights is an art form. Bravo.

Russell Brand: Staring at his hair may induce nausea and vomiting.

Criss Angel wanted to swap accessories but he told that bitch to take a hike.

Russell and David: Brothers, lovers or just friends?

Adam Lambert, aka "Liberace Jr."

The latest recruit to the guyliner brigade.

Brett Michaels of Poison, then...

...and now: It's not over until HE says it's over.

Dog the Bounty Hunter: Lynyrd Skynyrd are his drinking buddies.

Under all that hardware the Dog is just a pup.

Gotti boy #1: How many Ginas have impaled themselves on his crown of thorns?

Gotti boy #2: This one needs basting.

Gotti boy #3: Carmine turns 21
This pansy boy mofo has always completely turned me off. Not because I am 14 years his senior, but because he is prettier than a high maintenance bitch!

Mystery the "Pick Up Artist": Those who can't, teach.

This guy gets laid? Really?

SO HOW'D THEY DO?
After much yelling and crying, three of our wannabe heartthrobs submitted to the makeover challenge with spectacular results. Seriously, who ARE these handsome devils???
Criss "I'm hotter than 60% of the population" Angel

Adam "You can take me home to mom" Lambert

Russell "Impregnating women with his eyes" Brand

Congrats, dudes! You may now grace magazine covers, walk the red carpet and do TV interviews without looking like a complete and utter ASS.

But wait!

Respectability will compromise your brand. You'll be ignored and lose your celebrity status.

Fuck it.

As you were. We apologize for the inconvenience.

[Brought to you by Team Makeover Madness, a nonprofit, nonexistent, nonorganization.]

Throat Punch

2009-08-29T03:17:00.005-04:00

Five Celebrity Throat Punches
What celebrity would you like to punch in the throat without repercussion?

Posted by Julie:
Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag (they barely qualify as one whole human).

Lady Gaga (please get murdered by the ghost of Jim Henson for daring to wear a Kermit costume).

Octomom. Yay, you're super fertile! You're also batshit crazy and irrelevant. I know people who have had as many kids as you. It's called my Irish Catholic family.

The Gosselins. Another pair famous for breeding. It drives me fucking insane.

The Kardashians. WHY DO I KNOW WHO YOU ARE?!

Hear Me ROAR

2009-08-19T06:03:00.004-04:00

[incredimazing.com]

Boob's House

2009-08-18T14:29:00.006-04:00

Gross Leftovers From the Fall of the House of Guccione
Those busts look suspiciously like something Lady Liberty posed for before she became famous.

Birkenduck

2009-08-14T02:08:00.002-04:00

New Direction for Lucky Duck
A duck who faced being put down after fracturing a leg has been given a new lease of life thanks to a specially-made sandal.

Lucky the duckling faced a bleak future following an accident which left one foot pointing in the wrong direction when it healed.

Undeterred, owner Allison Morgan from the Lliswerry area of Newport, south Wales, decided to get a second opinion and, in the meantime, enlist the services of a local cobbler Kelvin Reddicliffe to aid the bird's recovery.

[via jezebel.com]

Hot Gossip

2009-08-13T13:59:00.006-04:00

WATCH OUT FOR A FLYING BLACKBERRY IN MOSCOW

Naomi Campbell isn't going to be a happy bunny when she finds out the Russian billionaire she plans to marry, Vladimir Doronin, has a secret wife that he's been wed to for 21 years.

Ekaterina, 44, breaks her silence over the supermodel her husband's been romancing today, telling the News of the World: "This is just a ridiculous affair. Vladimir is married to me and we are still a couple. Naomi is deluding herself if she thinks she can take my husband."

She adds that she won't divorce her husband, saying: "Naomi has got this so wrong. She is kidding herself. I think my husband has been enjoying the fame, glory and showbiz razzmatazz of meeting all the big stars. And it’s good for business. He is planning several large new city complexes in the financial area of Moscow and Naomi’s friends are useful."

Uh-oh!! The notoriously violent supermodel isn't going to react well to this. Watch out, Vlad!!!

[johnnyikon.com - Mar.09]

A Trash Act

2009-08-13T03:35:00.004-04:00

Katie Wants a Baby
And I thought she'd done it all with spreading her family's secrets across the tabloids before now. She's disgusting and she's an unfit mother. Peter Andre at least cares about the kids and takes them for days out in which he's happy just to dress as a normal, loving dad. Now, I know one thing for sure. If I'd grown up seeing my own mum going out flashing her boobs, chatting up every man she could get her hands on and making a total prat of herself on national television and magazines alike, then I wouldn't have much respect for her. That's what it'll all come down to. When those kids of hers grow up, they won't be able to look back and see a stable, caring, 'mum-like' mother they deserve. They'll just see this fake nailed/boobed/tanned/whatever else, horrible, attention seeking woman who put her image before them, and what an image! Maybe then she'll understand.

Nice Socks, Joe

2009-08-13T01:36:00.006-04:00

Channing Tatum as Duke in G.I. Joe

[via gawker.com]

Johnny Ca$h

2009-07-17T03:46:00.004-04:00

Johnny Depp Leaves $4K Tip For Chicago Waiter
[Yahoo News - Jne.09]

CHICAGO, Ill. -- Johnny Depp has previously said that money isn't the key to happiness.

But during a visit to a Chicago restaurant, the star certainly brought joy to one unsuspecting waiter with a reported sizable tip.

Depp, his "Public Enemies" co-star Marion Cotillard, director Michael Mann, along with about a dozen other folks -- who were in Chicago last week for the premiere of their new gangster movie -- made a stop at Gibsons Steakhouse around 11:30 PM, according to the Chicago Sun Times.

Once the bill came around 2:30 AM - totaling up to a reported $4,400 - Depp made sure the man who waited on the group into the late hours was well compensated for his time, as Mohammaed A. Sekhani reportedly received a $4,000 tip from the star.

"He had visited our restaurant several times before while he was filming 'Public Enemies' and he promised me that he would return after the premiere," Sekhani told Radar Online.

According to the longtime Gibsons waiter, Depp and his friends ordered items including shrimp cocktails, Clams Casino, as well as a few expensive bottles of wine.

"He also ordered some $500 bottles of Italian wine and he was in good spirits throughout the evening chatting with Mr. Mann and Miss Cotillard," Sekhani added.

Generous tip aside, Sekhani said he always enjoys waiting on the "Pirates of the Caribbean" star each time he visits Gibsons.

"Because he had visited us before he calls me 'Mo' and I know exactly the way he likes to be treated. He may be one of the most famous actors in the world but he is a very 'humble guy' and a really cool dude," the waiter continued. "I have worked with a lot of stars like Sean Connery and Robert De Niro but Johnny Depp is my favorite. He is a very soft spoken guy who is very charming and sweet - when I wait for him he doesn't like to be too fussed over and is not in any way demanding."

When contacted by Access Hollywood, a rep for Depp was not immediately available for comment on the story.

What's That Smell?

2009-07-16T19:01:00.002-04:00

People Wash Their Clothing in Barf
How close would you stand to someone whose clothes were washed in Barf? The word means "snow" in Farsi, and apparently the product is quite popular in the Middle East. Its cult appeal is also growing online, where product shots and one-liners spew forth like giddy projectiles.

Fox Hounded

2009-07-13T09:01:00.003-04:00

[gawker.com]

Prague is for Lovers

2009-07-08T05:26:00.003-04:00

Torture Museum, Prague
[livejournal.com]

Lookin' Good, Lilo

2009-06-28T03:33:00.012-04:00

Lilo at Wet Republic

COMMENTS
man what has she done to herself :[
Heroin
Cocaine
Barbiturates
Street Methadone
Alcohol
Ketamine
Benzodiazepines
Amphetamines
Tobacco
Buprenorphine
Cannabis
Inhaling nail polish remover, paints, hair spray, glue
4-MTA
LSD
Methylphenidate
Anabolic steroids
GHB (the date rape drug)
Ecstasy
Alkyl nitrates
Khat
Tanning

her shoes look like those weird ass show dogs

I do not support this look. WOW! She looks like she's a fucking crackhead.

I've seen hookers downtown with more class.

It's sad, but she's been treating her body like shit for years.

Why do people let her go out in public like this?

Those contacts scare the shit out of me.

oh my gawd. even if it wasn't for her tacky ass outfit, her face just looks puffy and OLD.. she looks worn the hell out.

She's such a mess and I don't think she'll ever bounce back.

I don't know why but I saw her picture and said 'She's done' in my head without even thinking it over. I just really think her career is over and if I'm wrong...whatever. But bitch looks like a damn fool lately.

It's almost getting to the point where it's hard to accept that she's still famous.

Her lipstick always looks like she just got done giving someone head.

Those shoes are disgusting and that nail polish color makes her look diseased. She has great eyes, so those contact are not needed at all. While I'm at it, someone please scrub that nasty tan off of her, she always looks so dirty.

I love how she shows up at an event for her fake tanner with her own tan all splotchy, smudged, and caked in the armpit. Her underarm looks like an anus.

Why yes, yes I would like to try your sunless tanning product. Especially after seeing these lovely photos. You look so natural and attractive. And...healthy....?

Some people have breakdowns and don't get broke down. This girl IS a breakdown.

This crazy bitch cracks me up.
GOD, she looks like one of the meth moms I see at Rite Aid buying generic menthols.
THANKS FOR THE LULZ, YOU CRAZY CRACKWHORE!
um what was Britney doing 2006-2008? oh yeah. thats right . being a HOT FUCKING MESS WHO WAS ON CONSTANT SUICIDE WATCH WHILE PICKING HER ZITS AND DRINKING RED BULL...
I'm sorry, but there is no WAY that Britney is as fucked up as Lindsay Lohan.
Lindsay needs to be checked into a psych ward ASAP.
Britney made a comeback, Lindsay's destined to die as a drug-addicted porn star.
Britney went to rehab a reported 3xs. twice she checked herself out. She stated she would be better off homeless. She fucked a pap with a landing strip on his face. Shaved head, driving for hours high outta her mind...come the fuck on.
She still managed to make a fabulous album and go on tour.
Lindsay does NOTHING.
She seriously needs help. Britney GOT help forced upon her by her parents.
Too bad Lindsay's parents don't give a fuck.

ugh lol she looks like a blogger

She must hate herself, beneath the intense narcissism and vapidness.
Why else would a healthy, beautiful girl destroy herself this way? Fake tan, fake hair, fake eye color, lip injections, breast implants, nose job, etc etc. WTF is she thinking? She's a nasty attention whore but she's obviously really broken beneath it all.
P.S. Stop with the bitch faced cunt smirks. You look like an asshole.

She is so using again.

we've seen this before. she is using again.

Coke pants? :O Explain!
In 2007, when she was on probabtion and wearing an ankle bracelet to monitor her alcohol intake (lol) Lindsay got pulled over for wreckless driving. It seems she was high as a kite when her assistant abruptly quit and drove away. Lindsay got livid and jumped in her own car, somehow taking three guys with her (one of which was black) and chased the assistant all over LA. The assistant calls 911 because this coked out bitch is driving like a maniac and won't leave her alone, and finally the cops pull her over.

Lindsay gets searched and they find some cocaine in her pocket, and the girl genius goes "THESE AREN'T MY PANTS!" And then, in a stunning move, she pulls one of the cops aside and says "THE BLACK KID DID IT!" She tried to pin the whole situation on one of the guys that was riding with her. Because she is so classy and so smart and so responsible and not a lying, racist slut whatsoever.

Ad Fail

2009-05-25T04:11:00.020-04:00

HALL OF SHAME: WORLD'S WORST MAGAZINE ADS
We are the image generation. Without even trying, we are exposed to thousands of images every day. There are pop-ups as we surf, billboards as we drive, TV spots as we relax, not to mention posters and fliers and neon signs.
But before we had the internet or television, or even cars, we had magazines. The first known publication was in 1734, London’s Gentleman’s Magazine. It was so well received, that dozens of copycat publications sprouted up within a few years. Today, there are over 10,000 magazines circulating in the U.S. alone.
Many magazine ads can be simple, clear and relatively harmless. However, many are also dishonest, unhealthy, and manipulative. Here, we examine how modern ads spread some insidiously warped ideals, particularly regarding women.

PRODUCT: De Beers Diamonds
MESSAGE: Control how she treats you by buying her diamonds!
Shaping an entire gender as predictably Pavlovian dogs, De Beers encourages you to buy your way into a better relationship. Or at least, De Beers used to encourage that, before they were banned from the U.S. in 1996, due to a variety of crimes and human rights violations.
MISS DELITE: What a cynical, bitter sentiment this ad expresses. Clearly, there's no love lost between the giver and the recipient. As for "banned from the U.S.", I'd bet my left butt cheek De Beers still sells to American markets, if only under a different name. Business is business after all.
Addendum: They do.

PRODUCT: Natan Jewelry
MESSAGE: Give her this ring, and her legs open right up!
Even more Pavlovian than the De Beer’s ad, Natan sets up the expectation for diamonds to demand sexual compensation. And we thought prostitution was illegal.
MISS DELITE: A true whore would demand cash instead of diamonds. This ad demonstrates THE WRONG WAY to establish a relationship with a potential life partner.

PRODUCT: American Apparel clothes
MESSAGE: Being a tease makes you powerful.
To broadcast a trendy teen model sitting spread-eagle in the backseat of a car is encouraging girls to not only wear this style, but to embody this promiscuous attitude, as well.
MISS DELITE: If this product were being marketed specifically to hookers, then yes, being a tease WOULD make you powerful. Alas, it is not.

PRODUCT: Lee Jeans
MESSAGE: Everyone pays attention to a half-naked tease.
Her tube-socks, overalls, and curly red locks give the impression of a very young girl. Yet her tongue lingers suggestively along that popsicle, atop her barely-covered naked torso. This campaign, promoting Lee’s teen clothing line, has an uncomfortable kiddie-porn feeling. No wonder girls start oozing sexuality before they’ve even hit puberty.
MISS DELITE: I started this post because of this ad. It's absolutely nauseating and makes me glad I don't have kids.

TARGET: WOMEN
PRODUCT: Wonderbra
MESSAGE: There are only two ways to get a man. If you can’t cook, you better be sexy.
We see this model hanging on, and hanging out, with an attitude of empowerment. But in reality, this ad perpetuates archaic gender stereotypes. And what’s worse, it promotes objectifying yourself as a way to feel strong and powerful.
SIDENOTE: If you want to have nice curves, or you love to cook, or it’s always been your dream to be a stay-at-home-mom, all of those things are perfectly good goals. We just oppose companies who say you should make those choices to please someone else. That is never healthy, fulfilling or productive.
MISS DELITE: This product is being marketed to women and yet it alienates those who have A, B or C cups. AD FAIL!

TEXT: Keep the memories.
PRODUCT: Flirt Vodka (Russia)
MESSAGE: It’s fun to get drunk and give strangers blow jobs.
This woman is smirking and the focal point is on her scarred knees - implying that flirtation and sexual favors give women a sense of empowerment. While intimacy is nothing to be ashamed of, empty promiscuity is rarely the route to self respect. Why can’t she be an executive, closing a multi-million-dollar business deal? We’d much rather keep those kind of memories.
MISS DELITE: Ooh, rug burn! Girlfriend needs to get some Bactine on that STAT!

TEXT: For those obsessed with fashion.
CAMPAIGN FOR: CPH Scandinavian Design & Streetwear Exhibit
MESSAGE: Any man with taste finds skinny, lifeless dolls attractive.
Clever. This man’s ultimate partner is a life-sized doll, insulting any woman who walks, talks, or doesn’t wear a size zero.
MISS DELITE: Creepy, just plain creepy. I'd seriously question the mental state of any guy who didn't find this ad a complete turnoff. Also, what the hell is it trying to promote? Are men who're obsessed with fashion into fucking mannequins? Do they not want women to attend this event too? Don't. get. it.

PRODUCT: Lee Jeans
MESSAGE: Porn is so in this season.
Lee teeters on the border of ambiguity here, because hey - they could be cross-promoting Gatorade Frost. But the truth is, conjuring up images of porn stars in raunchy positions is just a cheap ploy to get our attention. How is this supposed to make us buy jeans?
MISS DELITE: Ok, Lee, we get it. You're "edgy". The tactic, however, smacks of "trying too hard". And the jeans? What about the goddamned jeans?

TEXT: They'll find the way out.
PRODUCT: Exit Shoes (for women - Belgium)
MESSAGE: Sex slavery is no big deal! If they only had the right shoes, they would’ve escaped by now.
Exit’s ads for Women’s Shoes feature girls in humiliating and powerless positions, but the alternate campaigns for Mens’ Shoes feature men as spies and action heroes. Last we checked, you could still be creative in advertising without patronizing an entire gender.
MISS DELITE: This ad is so unbelievably awful. Who ok'ed this piece of garbage? And again, they're marketing this product to women? WTF? Also, I'd say this ad goes way beyond patronizing into downright disturbing. Ugh!

TARGET: MEN
TEXT: Let us keep dreaming of a better world.
PRODUCT: Che Men's Magazine (Argentina)
MESSAGE: Go ahead. She’s asking for it.
The camera is placed at such an angle that we have no choice but to look up her skirt. Which, in turn, will get shorter as men take her number. She has no face or identity, we know nothing of her goals or fears. Instead, she’s just a lump of flesh with apparently no standards, and “in a better world”, she’s willing to keep it that way.
MISS DELITE: So let me get this straight: "A better world" for men is populated solely by sluts? And by MEN who have no stardards? Well then kill me now.

TEXT: You know you’re not the first.
PRODUCT: BMW
MESSAGE: : Used women are like used cars.
Apparently, if you can’t get a brand new girl, make sure she’s still young with very little mileage. BMW’s target audience is middle-aged men, so why does this seductress look 16? Not only is it borderline-pedophiliac, but this ad shames all women who are sexually experienced by comparing them to used machines.
MISS DELITE: This ad is surprisingly lowbrow for a product like BMW. Is this how they court an elite clientele? Talk about gutter instincts. And yes, she's too damn young.

TEXT: Becoming a donor is probably your only chance to get inside her.
CAMPAIGN FOR: Organ Donor Foundation
MESSAGE: This ad is so overt that any further analysis would be redundant.
MISS DELITE: Jesus fucking Christ. Just when you thought a marketing team couldn't sink any lower, along comes this bucket of bile. That's right, SHAME your demographic into giving a kidney because...it works? And what about female donors? Is there a companion ad for them in their mags? How EXACTLY would that work? Fuckwads.

PRODUCT: Diesel Boots
MESSAGE: Real men can have reckless anonymous sex.
Hey Diesel, where are the jeans? And why don’t these girls have bodies? Or are their open legs the only part that matters? Sorry to spoil your cowboy fantasy, but all you’re actually offering us is a thick layer of denim - nothing more.
MISS DELITE: We don't know if the sex is anonymous - they could be roommates. This actually looks kinda hot! Can I get a tape? The jeans are absent because the ad's promoting Diesel's butt-ugly cowboy boots, which I wouldn't wear even if they GUARANTEED great sex.

PRODUCT: Tom Ford Cologne
MESSAGE: This fragrance is for men.
A strategically placed cologne bottle forges an innuendo that’s impossible to miss. We’re sorry, we were under the impression that belonged to us. Our mistake.
MISS DELITE: I don't mind the ad, per se - it's provocative and glamorous and that's Tom Ford. From an aesthetic point of view, however, I object to the way the bottle's digging into her thighs because it looks painful and awkward. That's all.

These ads are so basic in their meaning and so blunt in their approach, that further analysis is, frankly, unnecessary. So, just observe the many ways women are stripped of personality or identity.
TEXT: Everything looks different if you read Playboy.
CAMPAIGN FOR: Playboy
MISS DELITE: Clever and yet not very Playboy-ish. Blurring the line between porn and everyday life doesn't work, and quite frankly, if I'm out to lunch with a guy and he makes the observation that my open handbag looks like a vagina, I'm going to think he's a total perv. File this one under "There's a time and a place".

CAMPAIGN FOR: Milk (Russia)
MISS DELITE: Aside from the fact they're working the porn angle by referencing a pearl necklace (jeez marketers - the ad/porn theme is getting redundant and boring), the poor woman is wearing a bell around her neck. A BELL! Is there a bestiality component to this ad? Are they trying to morph this woman into a cat? Is the man supposed to think of cats while he's jizzing all over her? Is trying to imagine what the "creative team" was thinking making my brain explode? Yes!

PRODUCT: Aaron's Boots
MISS DELITE: So many questions, no plausible answers: Why is she licking the floor? Why are her tits barely concealed? Where are the boots? How ugly are the boots that they're an "acquired taste" and can't be shown? Why would I want to buy boots too ugly to be photographed? Why does nothing come up when I google Aaron's Boots? Could it be their fugly ass ad drove them out of business? Haha! AD FAIL AGAIN! When will they ever learn?

COMMENTS
[stilettorevolt.com]
Maybe look at the other side of the story, at the dumbing down of men. An ad for a women’s only gym had a picture of a woman holding up her hand and the caption was “No Toms. No Harrys. And No Dicks.”
Another ad had just a bunch of flowers, with the caption “For Great Sex.” Wow, we can look at it as women only put out whenever they’re given items, but men are also given the message that women don’t want anything to do with them unless they spend money on frivolous items.
Why is it men in these ads are also displayed as handsome, well-muscled, oiled physiques? Can’t we accept men as coming in all shapes and sizes? We cry about the portrayal of women in magazines, but what about the portrayal of men in soap operas, a medium that a lot of women watch. Women are sexualized; but men are romanticised.
While some ads do seem a little risque, what woman doesn’t want to be HEALTHY. Being overweight bears so many health problems, whilst having a good size and a good weight is ideal. Stick thin isn’t ideal, but the Fit Yoghurt doesn’t promote anorexia. It’s promoting a lifestyle change. How does the message best get through? Appeal to the vanity. How many smokers have quit because they’re afraid of the health affects? As opposed to quitting because the guy/girl they’re into really doesn’t like the smell of smoke.
All I’m saying is that there is more than one way to interpret an ad. Yes, some are blatant; some are tongue-in-cheek; some are purely to create controversy. But, consider all that the message may be portraying, from both genders, from different sides of the story.
I know men certainly don’t like being compared to the immensely romanticised versions found in romance novels and TV. But us females do it all the time, and expect material items to prove their love.
BTW, I’m female, if the assumption is made for arguing from the man’s perspective.

Being sexual and being an object are not the same thing. I think you are actually illustrating one of the effects of this kind of imagery. It makes both men and women think that for a woman to be sexual is equal to her being a sexual object for a man. Never mind her desire or lack there of, as long as she can turn a man on and is available. That is all that matters. Images like this also promote the idea that making a man want you is the only way (or at least best and easiest way) women have power and encourages girls and women to objectify themselves. It’s not “prudish” to find objectification wrong.

(Editor) I addressed this same opinion in a previous comment, but am fine with reiterating my response. We absolutely support a healthy sex life, as it’s a beautiful and enriching part of any relationship. We also never cast judgment on someone’s choice of lifestyle, since nuns and porn stars alike can be intelligent and empowered human beings. What we do oppose is the bottom-feeding style of marketing that often encourages unwarranted exploitation and abuse. The article states our personal mission, that “we have no desire to censor anyone. … Instead, our aim is to empower those of you negatively affected by these ads, so you can determine your own truth, and shape your own reality.” If you aren’t negatively affected by this style of marketing, then you aren’t our “target audience”, as it were.

(Editor) Those are all very valid points. The unhealthy messages toward men are hardly ever addressed, which perhaps makes them even more insidious. (When was the last time someone took a “Men’s Studies” class?) So we are very aware of the gaping need for confrontation of the topic. Just as women are told to be thin, young, and sexually desirable, men are told to be muscular, emotionless, and financially successful. It’s a lose-lose set of gender stereotypes, and we see it everywhere.
This particular website focuses on “women and culture warfare”, because we are women and that’s what we know best. However, we’re very interested in how the manipulative media affects all people, and the StilettoRevolt hopes to one day create a partner website focusing on men and culture warfare. After all, we’re all in this thing together.
Thank you for your poignant and intelligent commentary.

I don’t like images that are demeaning to any demographic. Referring to the Fit yogurt advertisement in particular: I don’t like the particular way in which they say it, but obesity is not healthy, and while there are many men out there who like large women, I’ll venture to say that it’s more due to a fetish than a lack of concern for body type in choosing a sexual partner.
Fit yogurt needs to stop throwing it in people's faces, but people do need to be aware of the health benefits regarding a healthy, active lifestyle. How can anyone be physically attracted to someone who’s as unfit (no pun intended) as the people in those pictures? It’s a genetic red flag: they seem to be predisposed to either slow metabolism or binge eating. Evolution is unfortunately very conservative; things like that are just a turnoff.
I’ve been told that most women feel the same about men who are below average height.
Granted, these things I’ve said could all be due to my cultural conditioning. Egyptologists claim that excess fat was once a sign of financial affluence. Entities such as “diabetes”, “heart disease”, and “cancer” would likely be nonsensical to an ancient Egyptian physician, as their theoretical orientation regarding medicine was drastically different from our biomedical one. In the present, the aforementioned disorders are meaningful to us; they should not be ignored, and those at risk should not be exploited, especially not for corporate profit.
Most of us believe that malevolent spirits, witches, or angry deities don’t give us heart attacks, diabetes, etc. It’s time we all started being realistic about our problems. The people in those photographs need to get help.

Sex can certainly be artistic. And I agree that some of these ads are artistic - I wouldn’t flip out quite so much over some of them.
But all of them? There is a difference between depicting a sexual lifestyle - the Calvin Klein ad - vs. making women into sex objects - Details, Che, Lee, and most of the other ones up there. There is an artistic way to portray sex. But giving people the impression that anyone - men or women - are only powerful when they have a sexy body, or offer sex to others, or can be used by sex is pretty inappropriate and sickening. All it does is tell people - youth especially - that they need to be sexy, popular, and a flirt to be powerful/successful. Thats it.

One of the first things I wondered was…why are these female models doing this? Are they aware of how they are being presented? I mean…I’m sure they’d have to be in most cases. The plus-size models doing the Fit yogurt ads…how sad is it that they would facilitate that kind of advertisement? Is it for the money? Do they believe in the same ads they are contributing to? As far as the others, some women do not mind being portrayed sexually that way, but how were some of the younger ones able to do those poses with such minimal clothing? In some cases, such things can be considered “art”, but the content is so explicitly sexist in a lot of them…ugh. I’m at a loss.
_________________________________________

MISS DELITE'S BONUS VIDEO AD

It's not the woman's sex life that's objectionable. She (apparently) is an adult who (apparently) is free to do what she wants. It's the set up of the viewer's perspective that's troubling. Clearly, we're being led to believe that this "slut" is no better than a piece of furniture. Now THAT'S worthy of objection.

Road Rage

2009-05-18T02:16:00.011-04:00

A Baltimore city ordinance mandated that pot holes be filled within twenty-four hours of notification. These pot holes in my former neighborhood remained for months. They are filled with potting soil and impatients. [lmcc.net]

Tucker Taylor, 22, was driving south between the Belmont and Fullerton Avenue exits when he encountered the gaping road cavity, which he described as a circular hole about three feet in diameter and eight inches deep.
At least that's what it looked like in the fraction of a second before his Saab sedan's right front tire hit it. Taylor said he saw it at the last moment, but it was too late to swerve out of harm's way.
"It felt like my car was hit by a missile," the DePaul student said. "I almost lost control of the car."
Then came a loud flapping. [chicagobreakingnews.com]

Not what it seems...

Pioneer Suspension ad
As many commentators have noted, unless the tactic was used in very controlled conditions, such fake potholes could actually be quite dangerous. Approaching drivers could swerve suddenly to avoid the "pothole" and serious accidents could result.

The Worst Potholes in the World

Beauty vs. Beast

2009-05-02T04:38:00.004-04:00

Hugh Jackman__Wolverine

Matthew McConaughey__Surfer Dude

Chest-Off! Hugh Jackman vs. Matthew McConaughey
While we here at Vulture have great respect for the craft of Acting, we also recognize that one can never really appreciate the full extent of a thespian's talents until he acts shirtless. After all, any Actor (with a capital A) worth his salt recognizes that physicality is one of the most difficult traits to translate to audiences. With this in mind, we're fairly certain that the careers of both Hugh Jackman and Matthew McConaughey will go down in history as being two of this era's most cherished talents. So, in honor of next week's box-office showdown between Wolverine and Ghosts of Girlfriends Past, we have decided to take a trip through each of their impressive bodies of work (pun most certainly intended), in an attempt to determine which of these two frequently topless actors reigns supreme.

Guess Who?

2009-05-02T04:27:00.002-04:00

Tom Ford @ Studio 54
[images.google.com]

Lady Gagag - 2

2009-05-02T04:18:00.006-04:00

[(jezebel.com) (images.google.com)]

Gassy Emissions

2009-05-02T04:08:00.005-04:00

Oil Substitute Made from Pig Poop Smells Like You'd Expect it to

Crank High Voltage

2009-04-19T06:16:00.006-04:00

Review by Dustin Rowles

Sensitive readers: Step off. I’m about to unleash some Id in here. Ladies: Strap on your fuck-me boots again. Fellas: Are you ready to get your cinematic junk wet? Crank High Voltage is a dirty, little backseat hate-fuck of a movie, one that will leave you writhing and raw and ready to jump back on. Want to know what the experience is like? Put your hang-low in a power socket. Get it stanky. You like how that feels? Welcome to Crank High Voltage. If Sigmund Freud were still around to see it, he’d leave the theater, walk straight home, and fuck his mother. Twice.

When I heard that Neveldine/Taylor was doing a sequel to Crank, my first thought was: What the hopping fuck? He fell out of a helicopter at the end of the first movie. How could they plausibly bring Chev Chelios back to life? The answer? There is no plausible way. In fact, implausibility is the Crank franchise’s central motif. And thank the Good Lord and Savior for it. High Voltage, like its predecessor, is an hour-and-a-half of hyper-fueled, frenetic preposterousness. It is dumb so massive and full-circle that it runs the bases, trots back out to left field, and boomerangs so violently that it will rip out your cerebral cortex and fuck you with it. And you will ask for more even while you’re spitting up blood.

And what of the plot? Who gives a rat’s ass? Here’s what you need to know: Jason Statham is in it. He runs spectacularly fast, grunts, kicks the shit out of people, and screws Amy Smart in ways you didn’t even think were imaginable. On a horse track. During a horse race. In the opening minutes of Crank High Voltage, Statham dips a shotgun into a bucket of oil and shoves it barrel-deep into a fat man’s ass. Indeed, there are enough breasts, bullets, and butts in High Voltage to supply a week’s worth of Feebles hijacked “Sesame Street” episodes on the glory of the Letter B. And nothing in Crank 2 makes sense. You will walk out of the theater seven times dumber than when you walked in. And you’ll be thankful for it.

Fuck You, Penguin

2009-04-18T06:32:00.003-04:00

A Blog Where I Tell Cute Animals What's What

Porcupinefish send out mixed messages
Good lord, you smiling asshole. What is going on with the fish lips and big eyes? YOU ARE SO FUCKING CUTE I WANT TO HUG YOU AND NAME YOU GARY. But I know better, Porcupinefish. You may me be smiling and having a great time now in your little undersea neon world, but next thing I know I'll come too close and you'll push me away.

Tigers are destined to live with regrets
Tigers can be real badasses, just ask that one dude in Vegas. So it's always embarrassing for them when they are reminded of their past as tiger cubs, doing fucked-up shit like biting tree trunks and refusing to grow into their already ridiculously large paws. This tiger looks like she just woke up in bed next to a lion (we all know where that leads and where it ends), but really she's just remembering what a cute-wielding little bastard she used to be.

Keep it in your pants, buddy
You know, Peacock, you are basically a flasher that walks around showing off your stuff to the entire world. It's pretty disgusting, if you ask me, "beautiful" colors or not. I'm not sure how you decided that you get a free pass from society, but the rest of us have to use our personalities and regular good looks to find mates, instead of throwing our junk around until someone feels sorry for us. Yeah, "one yes is all it takes," but remember, you have to live with yourself in the morning.

Jaded hipster owls think they've seen it all
Owls are always making snarky fucking asides like they're above it all. A perfect example of this was the other day. We were eating some really good watermelon sorbet together, and I was like, "Is this great or what?" and this owl gave me this look and said, "What." (He actually said "who," but I'm pretty sure that was just his lame meta-commentary on the commonness of the actual "What" joke.) The fucked up thing about it was that it was some seriously good watermelon sorbet, too, so there's no way he wasn't enjoying that shit.

Fuck You, Penguin

Awwwww.........

2009-04-18T06:26:00.003-04:00

[fuckyoupenguin.blogspot.com]

Zombie Pocket Protector

2009-03-31T07:08:00.004-04:00

Brooch by Sissi Westerberg
Swedish Jewelry

Happy Monday!

2009-03-30T07:20:00.002-04:00

[dockera.com]

McAd McSucks

2009-03-25T00:07:00.003-04:00

Austrian Micky Ds Ad

What a Teese

2009-03-14T19:27:00.018-04:00

Dr. Who

[images.google.com]

The Show Off T-Shirt is a t-shirt with a built in sound sensitive graphic equalizer panel. As the music beats, the shirts equalizer lights up to the beat of the music. Great for concerts and parties.

Uneetee
Every Monday, one new Featured Artist and one newly designed shirt will be on Pre-Sale for $12 for 7 days Monday-Friday.

Rodeosaur

Left Hanging

Lucha Thumbre

Stolli Clothing

T-Shirt Hell*
*Objectionable content

Boxed Pussy

2009-03-11T00:32:00.006-04:00

Homer Phog Allen appreciates your vote.
Help him win the grand prize box upgrade of his choice by inviting your friends to vote for him.

Cat in Box Finalists

Klepto Carryall

2009-03-11T00:20:00.002-04:00

Matches the pants you lifted last week.

Lady GaGag

2009-03-04T21:40:00.006-05:00

Whoever let Lady GaGa out of the hotel in this needs to be fired. Is this even legal? While out sightseeing in Paris, the pop songstress thought it appropriate to walk the streets in a nude leotard and a blazer. Style icon or attention seeker? A Step too Far

The unstable economic climate has affected everyone - even the rich and famous. Take for instance, Lady Gaga, who clearly can't afford pants. It's one thing to go sans bottoms during a show, but in the middle of winter on the red carpet in Paris? That's just crazy! Fashion Disaster

Get Your Own GaGa
Lady GaGa is planning her own fashion line aimed at teenage girls.
Hip Hop star Akon was the man who discovered GaGa and is reportedly in full support of her fashion pursuits: “She’ll walk around in London in her underwear and you watch, everyone will catch on.”

Poor Man's Christina
Original Dirty Girl

For the Perfect Ass

2009-03-01T21:32:00.004-05:00

It's hard for the rich to find good, expensive things to spend their money on these days without causing a populist uproar. So a $28 million chair is, like, perfect!
"There are still a lot of extremely wealthy people out there," a Christie's exec said after day two of the big Yves Saint Laurent posthumous art-and-luxurious-baubles auction last night. YES, QUITE. The chair you see, fancily called a "Dragon chair," sold for $28 mil. But to be fair, it does look like it has good padding on the ass area.

"Sounds like a money laundering deal to me..."

Saaay What?

2009-02-23T10:23:00.008-05:00

Lisa Rinna

"Lisa Renna my ass. That's Donatella Versace after a steroid marinade."

"Rinna's lips are going to swallow her face."

Ryan Seacrest

"This man is an oxygen thief and as such, should be vacuum-packed for all eternity."

Marisa Tomei

"She's so hot that I'll drag my nuts through 5 miles of broken glass just to eat a peanut out of her poop."

[fr: (oscars.movies.yahoo.com) (gawker.com)]

What Resolution?

2009-02-18T05:02:00.003-05:00

The Slowburger - A half pound beef patty, gruyere, onion rings, butter lettuce and pickle relish.

Gravy Covered Pizza

Heart Attack Sandwich - Chicken fried steak, chicken-fried bacon, a country sausage, a fried egg, a fried green tomato topped with cheddar cheese and sandwiched between buns toasted in bacon fat, all served with a gravy dipping sauce.

This is Why You're Fat

Media Darlings

2009-02-16T05:05:00.005-05:00

(banterist.com)

You've Got Mail, Romeo

2009-02-13T06:01:00.005-05:00

someecards

Single Sydney

2009-02-12T02:40:00.002-05:00

Good Vibrations Festival

"Suck it, Marrieds!"

Luv U 4 Evah

2009-02-12T02:17:00.005-05:00

Skeleton "Valentines"_Italy

February 13, 2007—In what's been called a Valentine's Day gift to Italy, archaeologists today excavated two interlocked Stone Age skeletons—leaving their "eternal embrace" intact and making it easier to analyze the double burial.

Discovered last week during construction not far from Verona, the setting of Romeo and Juliet, the roughly 5,000-year-old couple has already become an icon of enduring love to many.

Til Death Do Us Part (or Not)

Be My Valentine

2009-02-09T04:53:00.006-05:00

breaking up again_a Daydreamer_flickr.com

January is the "Break-Up" Month

More couples split during January than at any other time of the year.

"Relationship freezes" often take place between Thanksgiving and New Year's during which couples who likely would otherwise have called it quits decide to stay together during the holidays. January, therefore, racks up not only all the unpairings that normally would have accrued to it, but also those of mid-November through December.

Bratty Batty Bale

2009-02-05T02:49:00.011-05:00

Bale Went Ballistic (audio)
Bale Out Remix
Bale vs. O'Reilly (vid)

[COMMENTS: Defamer/Gawker/Jezebel]

*I just hope it doesn't turn into the kind of thing where I can't watch his movies anymore because all I can think about is him being a dick when I see him on screen.

*This guy is DaVinci. No stutters, no rambling words, the curses are perfectly chosen and promptly delivered. It carries a subtle blend of anger and humor with just the right amount of pretentiousness. Topped off with a ripe jolt of physical threat... mmmm delicious.

*I have never been so turned on in my entire life.

*Don't ruin the art that is Terminator 4. Doofus.

*Bale crossed a line, and stayed on that side of the line for several long minutes.

*As an actor, you only look as good as the crew makes you look, and the best way to handle that would have been to talk to the guy about it in a calm fashion, or have the director do so.
A good actor can keep the scene in the scene and the real world in the real world.

*TMZ did ask Russell Crowe for an opinion, but it was difficult to understand what he said as he was talking with his mouth full, and before they had a chance to ask him to repeat himself he had left to look for more pies.

*All of the special treatment celebrities have come to expect starts with the studios. They let these petulant, childish actors do whatever they want, to whomever they want. Meanwhile we have elevated celebrity to a point that people spend years in school/apprenticeships just for the smallest chance to work and be abused by these celebrities.

*Trust me, actors are generally far less asshole-ish than the post production supervisors and producers/writers/etc. on the shows themselves. I was yelled at once, just as harshly with as much swearing but called far more denigrating names for giving away a supervisor's parking spot for the day to someone else because I didn't think he'd be at the mix. Yeah, I got a bottle of champagne as an apology but that didn't clean the guy's spit off my space. Not that Bale wasn't really intense, but don't go making the assumption that "talent" are the worst pricks on the scene.

*Pompous asshole.

*Bale repeatedly decries this DP as unprofessional and amateurish, but if delivering that kind of tirade isn't unprofessional I don't know what is. The hypocrisy is stunning. I was disappointed, but not surprised, that no one had the guts to stand up to this man and tell him how far out of line he is.

*Shane was adjusting something in the background during the set. All part of the normal working environment. All part of a normal shoot. I guarantee, if I was DP on this shoot, Bale would have looked fat by the time I was done with him. The only thing that's unpleasant working in this industry are the actors. Bale is just another example of what it's like to work with a bunch of 3-year-olds all damn day.

*"Christian Bale Killed By Falling Light! 'Fuck him' Says Bemused DP"
Really, how deeply focused he is while playing dress up and fighting fake robots in a "Terminator" movie. If this was a David Mamet film he'd have had to devour the man whole just to get back on point.

*It would've cost me my job as a lighting guy for the rest of my life but what beautiful fireworks just to call him on his bluff.

*Well the thing that surprised me the most is that they were all busy doing the "It's all good man" dance which reminds me why I left that industry. Any half wit knows that when someone is screaming at the top of their lungs that you don't try to "calm them down" by explaining why one's actions were ok or give some half-cocked lame sounding apology. You work that stuff out later by walking away.

*I count 39 f-bombs in under 4 minutes.

*I'd love to see him at 7am on a Sunday when he realises that he's out of milk and has to have his tea with Creamora. Or when "Gossip Girl" is pre-empted by a car chase. I'll bet you can hear him 5 streets over.

*I usually love hearing celebrities lose it, but Bale's too in the crazy zone for me to enjoy it.

*He walked into a shot more than once? That could potentially cost hundreds of thousands of dollars for an idiot mistake. How could a DP do that? They're the ones who set up the shot in the first place. And now the passive aggressive dbag is leaking the audio to websites to try and make Bale look bad. I need to make sure I remember that DPs name, so I can stay away.

*Dude. You're making a Terminator movie. The artistic integrity boat has sailed.

*I've never been so turned off. What a fussy baby. I'm counting down the days 'til a boom 'accidentally' sends him into a coma. Go teamsters!

*Nothing says "DVD Extras with the Cast" quite like an obscenity-laced tirade by an actor suffering from testicular atrophy as directed to one of those egotistical brute-bastards of the set, the DP.

*So not surprised by this. Bale's always seemed like one of the most self-involved "actors" ever, with less than zero sense of humour or perspective.

*Dear Christian, You've seemed kind of angry at the world for quite some time now. It's reality check time again. Many years ago, you won job lotto. You will likely never have to sit in a fabric cubicle all day, serve food in a polyester uniform, choose between getting your car fixed or paying your tuition, nor will you have to file for unemployment benefits so you can almost make rent. Be gracious enough to thank your lucky stars, suffer the "little people," and realize that there is such a thing as a proportional response. Good luck with your Terminator movie. Hopefully you actually appear lifelike in this one. Warmest, Me

*After the third apology on my part I'd finally crack and tell him to go fvck himself. At that point I'd be fired and possibly washed up in HW. But before they had a chance to fire me he'd rush me, beatings would ensue, I'd take some shots, but I'd likely kick his ass unless his people stopped me quick enough, and that would be that.
You don't talk to people like that and you don't take it either.

*I guess he's gone Batshit crazy.

*Yeah, like this guy wouldn't assault his sister and mother. "Just a misunderstanding," says Bale. Anger issues, much?

*That's the second time the DP did that? Shouldn't he be making sure the camera peeps are getting it right? Watching a monitor or something? Hitting on a PA? Reading People magazine? Getting high? Texting? Masturbating? Gorging on chocolates at the crafty table? On the phone looking for his next gig like everybody else? Anything but walking into the shot?
Team Batman.

*My favorite part was the "you're a nice guy" bit in the middle of the tirade. That should have happened during the whole dressing down:
"You're a nice guy, but you're a misery making piece of shit!"
"You are charming! I'll give you that... but I'll flay you where you fucking stand!"
"I'm gonna tear you a new asshole out of those unbelievably stylish pants of yours, you stupid fuck!"
"We're done professionally, but I still will attend your wedding, man! Thanks for the invitation! Semi-formal, yes? Prick!"

*Bale, for Christ's sake, are you a child?

*I was on an AFI film set with a director named Zal...he threw his new blackberry at the AD. And there was a scene that called for the actress to discover something in her toilet... and was so upset at the propmaster's fake poop that Zal cleared the set (mostly) and defecated and forced the actress to dig through it...she barfed.

*Easily his best performance. Riveting.

*Imagine building a house of cards for 8 hours that keeps collapsing when you're two cards away from the peak because you can't get the second to last card to stick.
Then, when you finally do, your mate runs into the room and knocks the pile over, KNOWING what you've been building...
Think you might lash out verbally?
You probably would.
And anyone who'd WATCHED you building it for 8 hours (as a fly on the wall) would probably agree.

*That was fucking AWESOME.
The only reason he went off like that is because he COULD. God knows I would go off like that at work once a month if I could and not get fired.
Anyway, I bet that DP doesn't walk into his scene again.

*Bale is a top notch actor. To prove my point watch "Rescue Dawn" a Werner Herzog film. If anyone knows anything about Werner Herzog is that he is an extremely demanding director and difficult personality. There were no outbursts reported on that set which was reported to be one of the most demanding, uncomfortable conditions in film making. Everyone is basing their opinions of Bale based solely on two moments. Two! How unscientifically perverse is thinking that two examples makes the case for condemnation. Moments of passion creates great art. Don't hang this guy for wanting to make something better than sloppy mediocre chaff by requiring a DP to do their job with some standard. If presented with recordings of your own lives how many would pass this scrutiny?

*Kudos to Bale. A DP shouldn't make that kind of mistake once, let alone twice. This is top level work, not community theatre. The DP is lucky he wasn't fired on the spot and blackballed in the industry.

*Looks like the crew got the last laugh on him. He seems a bit high strung.

*He's lucky he was talking to a guy who needs his job more than his dignity.

*Who's running the show here? Bale better be grateful he never worked with Kubrick, Houston or any of the greats...his pretentious, over-hyped ass would be thrown off that set in a heartbeat. And if he thinks "Batman" gives him the right to act like a big ole girl with PMS, he's sorely mistaken. Chris Nolan is the star of that franchise, not bombastic Bale. Remember, Christian...Mickey Rourke thought he was indispensable, too.

*Check out the The Christian Bale Freakout Appreciation Society on Facebook.

*Franchise overkill + bad behavior = Career Suicide. Well played, dude, well played.

*If they are filming in IMAX then a flubbed shot can easily cost in thousands. That's including post production costs of working with that format, man-hours setting up a ~250lb camera and reloading it, and the price of the film stock itself.

*He is an amateur. Every pro 3rd-electric i know would've busted Batman in the lip and been happy to have the support of his union rep and about a hundred other crew guys who didn't see shit.

*absolute bullshit. it would have never happened. and the different tech unions would have never stood behind the guy.
the studios and producers still rule, and people got kids to feed. if anyone played any games with 'not seeing shit', the studios and producers would have blacklisted every single one of them.
people arent just banging down doors to get ON stage, you know. getting the backstage jobs is just as tough.

*i am absolutely right.
you have no idea what you're talking about. i love my techies and i love the unions that take care of them, but producers and studios would go through 100 of them to get ONE bale right now. hes worth that much.

*To be fair, that DP has long been rumored to be a complete dick. Really.

*Of course the Electrician/Grip could have been trying to keep a light from falling on Bale's head.
They should have just let it land.

*It was the DP. The second highest ranking person on the crew just below the director. Pretty ballsy/egotistic of Bale to yell at him that harshly.

*They might not have been shooting, but the sound guy could flip the sound on if he thought it was worth capturing, which obviously it was.

*I'd like to put Bale and Russell Crowe in a room and see who comes out alive.

*Well, if you're going to be an asshole, be a gigantic one.
That being said, I don't want to see any more of his movies. What a prick.

*7000 job cuts at Macy's today. Shut the fuck up, Bale, you useless piece of shit primadouchebag.

*And that, ladies and gentleman, is the reason why I laugh and laugh when anyone asks me why I chose to leave the "glamourous" movie biz.

*I think mr. hulburt should have done what christian bale's mom did. file charges. it is totally unacceptable, in this society for peo-...damn, somebody just bumped my table in this overcrowded starbucks...
"hey jackass, don't you see me typing here! For fucks sake, man!...you almost spilled my fucking mocha you fucking prick! you want me to fucking spit in your daughter's tazo tea? No? Then stop fucking bumping into my fucking table!!!!"
sorry everyone...where was i?

*That's my new ring tone now.

*I'm betting this tape will end up providing more entertainment value than the movie.

*If there had been the faint sound of a chainsaw in the background, I'd need a cigarette followed by a nap right now.

*He'd probably be better off eating at the craft service table rather than having anything delivered to his trailer. Unless he likes his food with snot in it.

*Does Christian Bale understand the definition of "hubris?" I would guess not. Sad when ugly people make it big when there are so many really talented people with real humanity that don't. And an apology? Please, he's already rationalized this behavior to his therapist who takes his money, strokes his ego and nods.

*Mr. Bale made himself quite huge and muscle-bound for American Psycho and seems to have retained that build for the Batman movies. Perhaps he's been on steroids for almost nine years. He does seem filled with inexplicable rage, with a side of messianic mania, in the most recent clip.

*It's called "Roid Rage".

*I realized in college where there was an acting program, that actors are bred to be assholes. The ones that started earlier seemed to be bigger assholes.
It's why I was scared of going into acting. This is a general blanket statement I know, but if you are a master at manipulating feelings and are constantly rejected before a taste of success then you might become a D-Bag.

*Whatever. The man is hot. The rest are just details. Meow.

*awesome remix hahahahaaaaa this made me dribble milk and cereal chunks down my chin

*McG should have stepped up and dealt with this. He's the director. THAT'S HIS JOB. Bale wouldn't act this way around a strong director. Give an actor a vision and keep to it or they'll walk all over your set.
All in all all three men failed, but I would lay the majority of the blame at McG's feet. He didn't keep a leash on his DP and he let his actor call the shots. Poor form.

*Really, why do we care so much about this? Why are things like this SUCH big news?

Bale Apologizes: I Acted Like a Punk
COMMENT (TMZ): Bale gave a gracious and dignified apology that struck me as believable and sincere. As far as I'm concerned, he's forgiven, and I actually like him quite a bit for the way he expressed himself on the program.

Guess Who?

2009-02-02T06:59:00.001-05:00

Matthew McConaughey_justjared.com

Drawn Money

2009-01-31T04:05:00.005-05:00

On the Money: Cartoons for the New Yorker

World's Worst Makeover

2009-01-28T01:37:00.006-05:00

BEFORE

AFTER
Beard & updo accentuate the crazy eyes.

Dude, it's called the EZ Comb & it changed my life!

Joaquin Phoenix Falls on Stage
i am positive this is an elaborate hoax... attempting to show the power of celebrity, and the trend of an actor turned musician... and how much we all buy into it simply because of who he/she is and not the value of the music...

.....now there's an example of someone who has done lost their mind.

WTFF Happened to Joaquin Phoenix?!?
thats not for a movie role or lack of photoshopping. I read that his whole family is worried about him and that he's acting strange. he doesnt wanna act anymore and he's likely into drugs. and we all know what happened to his brother....

Joaquin Phoenix's Awkward Retirement Announcement
Good. His absence will pave the way for another DB to ascend the ladder of fame and fortune only to realize that success isn't a cure for their insufferable nature. He will come to his senses when: (a) the drugs wear off, or (b) when his $ runs out and is forced to take roles turned down by Skeet Ulrich. Yawn.

Was hygiene part of the retirement package?

Ouch...did he take interview tips from Corey Haim? He looks like he just crawled out of a jailhouse shitter only to realize that even down-on-their-luck johns don't want a piece of a drugged up mess.

I feel bad for everyone involved in that clip. The E! guy clearly wasn't ready for the strangeness that is Joaquin, and I'm not sure anyone ever is. If he's not on anything in that clip(since he did rehab), he needs to get on something quick.

His birthday was Tuesday. (So was mine). Maybe he was just grappling with growing older. No more pills and booze, Joaquin. You know how that story ends.

He's either grappling with serious depression and self-medicating or he's prepping for another film on the last days of John Belushi. River Phoenix hinted at serious sexual abuse within Children of God. Let's hope they don't end up with another senseless death on their karmic balance sheet.

Joaquin - "I would like to take this time to announce I am actually from Neptune and am here to make love to your women."
E Entertainment - "Are you kidding?"
Joaquin - "DO I LOOK LIKE I AM FUCKING KIDDING YOU KNOB??!!!!"

Yes, Diddy, That Really is Joaquin Phoenix
Joaquin Phoenix said "Bye! Good" to Hollywood and hello to ass bush bugs, seven layer cheese dick and fly nests in his ears. This is what fucking happens when you snort too much bunk coke and drink too many random cocktails left on the bar. I just want to give him a can of RAID and some Hazmat-approved antibacterial soap, because you know there's baby roaches living in that beard.

WOW! WTF happened. This guy's seriously slipped a cog somewhere along the line. He looks like a whacked out child toucher.

JOAQUIN HAS HANDED BACK HIS "SAG" CARD ("SHOWERING AND GROOMING").

THose hair things really are in infomercials on tv right now. I hadn't seen one yet on anyone so I guess he's ahead of the curve. I think the black one is a freebie when you buy the silver.
But geez... CRAYZEE EYES!!!!! Looks like Manson with a hair clip.

EZ Combs

I thought it was Jack Black on acid at first.

Joaquin needs a vigorous and hardy three hour shower, followed by a desperately needed visit to the barber and a lastly a visit to the psychiatrist to get this man on some anti-psychotic medication. EEEEK.

If that ain't the next Unibomber, I don't know who is.

On topic, I am no fortune teller, but I do see a long vacation in Joaquin's not too distant future. Maybe Promises?

I'm not surprised he's morphed into this, just read his bio on Wikipedia.
Bio
"They married in 1969, then later joined the religious cult the Children of God."
I saw a program a few years ago about people who grew up in that cult. Many of the people interviewed had been sexually abused as children; many of them became drug addicts later in life. Awful.

[pics: (brisbanetime.com.au) (forums.morrissey-solo.com)]

Stone Cold Cougar

2009-01-28T01:33:00.002-05:00

Sharon Stone_jezebel.com

Can't Live With 'Em...

2009-01-26T05:11:00.006-05:00

Carmine Gotti [gawker.com]

I recently dated this guy for 5 months who would leave skid marks on my bed sheets every time he slept over. I never told him so I’d imagine that I’m not the only victim of his ASSault.

This adult baby was really into the rave scene. He loved posting pictures of himself on the internet topless, wearing furry pants and hugging 14 year-olds on ecstacy. A few years after he tried to pull a majorly creepy move on me while I was passed out on a couch, I ran into him at a party and smashed a wine bottle on his head. It was the least I could do.

This guy lied about his age, told me his ass looked better than mine and although we were dating insisted he didn’t know I was sleeping with only him. Thank-you for the genital warts, brother. Keep calm and rock on.

This guy demanded oral sex repeatedly and when I finally relented he tried to face-hump me you like a rabbit and bitched an hour later after I pushed him away cause I was bored to death. When I finally just perma-refused, he would bitch to my friends about it in public trying to “shame” me - little did he know we all thought it was pretty funny and would die laughing doing impersonations of him while drinking martinis.

Poor little guy, two pumps and he was done. Sad day.

This dude smelled awful and was incoherent 90% of the time we hung out. Not only did he leave me at an In-n-Out burger once because he got so stoned in the bathroom he forgot I was with him, he also puked in my mom’s bushes and flipped off her security camera every chance he got. Nice.

WHAT. THE. FUCK? 5 minutes after I met this guy he dumped a giant beer on my best friend, called her a “fat bitch” several times and threatened to beat up her boyfriend. He’s covered in these god awful satanic tattoos and when we got to his place he made me watch Sixteen Candles and listen to a bunch of gangsta rap. He slapped me around and choked me the whole time we boned, then he held my hand and walked me to the train in the morning. I’m still confused.

I “dated” this fine piece when I first moved to the city. He would do a shitload of coke then try to titty fuck me with his scary pencil dick and the worst lube ever for hours on end. He also would beg me to fuck his roommate and would repeat “ain’t no fun unless the homies get some” over and over. Wow.

Random beach house parties sometimes lead to poor decisions. Such as sleeping with a short third-rate Pete Wentz character wearing far too many rings, madras shorts, and a powder blue sleeveless hoodie. Yum!

It’s hard to feel cool when you fuck a youngin’ who rollerblades. Actually, it’s totally impossible.

When an old L.A. rocker type tells you they want to take the physical side of things slow….beware. This typically is synonymous for having a tiny penis that you cant keep hard. Cue sad trombone.

I brought this guy home with me after making out with him all night (he was a great kisser.) Once we got in bed he viciously ripped my favorite underwear in half and started biting and licking me all over my body. The awesome kisses he was previously providing turned into repulsive slobbering, and he nearly ripped off my breasts. I promptly pretended to be sick and pass out so I didn’t have to go any further. Works like a charm.

Really nice kid, but lived in his parents’ basement at the time, which I blamed for the fact that he sometimes smelled strangely like mold.

This dude was obsessed with me telling him he had the biggest dick I had ever seen and if this wasn’t weird enough, the creepy factor got turned up to the max when he reached over to his nightstand once and pulled out and enormous purple dildo. I didn’t stick around long enough to find out what he wanted me to do with that monster. I am getting chills just thinking about it.

This dude was a real class act. The date went well, good times in bed, but that doesn’t make up for the swastika tattoo on his hip that those good times revealed, and it definitely doesn’t make up for all the psychotic lies that were discovered after the fact once his girlfriend/fiance contacted me.

After spending an entire evening cracking jokes about his supposed high heel/pain fetish, I lost my nerve mid-bone sesh, quietly dismounted and went to sleep. He caught me tiptoeing cartoonishly out his room at 7 am, at which point I told him he was dreaming and to go back to sleep. Slick.

He took me to a motel and could barely get it up. The end.

I bang the worst dudes